How to Lose a Cat in 10 Days

I felt really bad keeping Henry locked up in the bathroom all day and night, even though the vet warned me how highly contagious ear mites are, and how important it was that I kept him away from my other cats.  Henry hated being stuck in there, and no matter how many times I told myself it was better than being in a cage at the animal shelter or out in the street, I still felt bad about it.  So I called the vet yesterday to ask if the mites were a danger to humans, and if I could at least take Henry into the bedroom with me at night so he wouldn't be so lonely.  The vet said that was absolutely safe, as long as I kept my other cats from face-to-face contact with him.  I figured that would be no problem at all, since Max and Madison have expressed no interest in going anywhere ever since we got a new couch for the the first floor.  Hey, now they can comfortably ignore their cat beds AND be closer to the food bowls -- why come upstairs?

I was so excited to "tell" Henry he could come out at night from now on.  I even decided to move up his neuter surgery, even though it would cost a little more (because I wouldn't be combining two visits) so that he could freely roam the house the very second the ear mites were gone, without intimidating Madison with his manliness (and without "marking" all over the house). 

As soon as I got home from the gym, I ran upstairs to give Henry the good news.  I opened the bathroom door, ready to block him from trying to run out and hump Max's leg, and was surprised when he didn't jump up to greet me.  I was even more surprised when I didn't see him anywhere.  Then I noticed the window.

I had left the window cracked open an inch, because with all his "marking", the bathroom was getting really smelly, despite the fact that I changed Henry's linens more in three days than I've changed our own sheets and towels in a month.  Our windows can open either from the bottom or the top, and the screen slides up and down to cover whichever area you need.  I cracked the top of the window so that Henry wouldn't scratch the screen, because I've learned a thing or three thousand after a few years of indoor-cat caretaking.  And thing #1253 that I learned is that cats sometimes like to scratch the hell out of window screens, because cats are insane.

At some point during the day, Henry managed to climb to the top of the window (I have no idea how he managed this), pull the window open (again, no idea how he did this), push the screen down (impossible, you'd think), and jump the 10 feet to the ground (did I mention this was on the second story?).  Apparently I should have named him Harry, after Houdini, because I'm still not sure what he did is physically possible.

I called Liz pretty much hysterical, and we looked all over the neighborhood for him, shaking containers of food.  We attracted every neighborhood cat except Henry, and finally gave up at 9pm. 

I put Henry's bed (Max's rejected bed, since Max prefers to sleep on leather couches and rest his head on a delicately fluffed throw pillow) outside, with a bowl of food.  Maybe he'll come home after he's done with his Bachelor Party Humpfest, just in time for vet appointment I had scheduled for Monday to get him neutered and microchipped.   

Maybe he went back to his old home. 

Maybe he already found a new home.

I guess I should take down all those "Found Cat" posters we put up last weekend.  Or maybe I should just get a marker, and cross out all the "Founds" and write "Lost Again" on my way home. 

Comments

[for Joke!]

Aw, Jen, I am so sorry!!

[Carolyn J.]

Come on back, Henry.

[janet]

that Henry sure is ungrateful!!!!!