We did the second dose of roundworm medicine on Wednesday night (Christmas is over, time for torture!) and it went better than the first time, if only slightly. Although the vet assured me that this medicine doesn't taste bad, Max and Henry begged to differ, spitting all over the place and running off after I shot it in their mouths. Maybe they just don't like being force-fed yellow goop, or maybe it really does taste awful. We'll never know. I am confident that enough got down their little throats to be effective, and that's all that matters. Max grudgingly accepted the treats that I placed in front of his post-medicine hiding spot and Henry spent the night sleeping on my bladder, so I think they both forgive me.
We had a new strategy to try with Madison this time: quick and dirty. The plan was for Joel to throw a blanket over Mads, hoist him onto the counter, I'd pry open his mouth and squirt the medicine in, and then we'd both run for cover. I wanted the entire operation to last no more than fifteen seconds, therefore keeping the element of surprise on our side.
It worked, mostly. Blankets were thrown, medicine was squirted, but much of it was spit back out by one angry and surprised fluffy-cat. I grabbed the back-up syringe, and most of that seemed to actually go down his throat. I think that in the end he consumed at least a full dose of the medicine, with about the same amount being spit all over the floor, the blanket, and Madison's face. Mission: Accomplished. And on top of that, Madison had no problem with my thoroughly scrubbing his face with a washcloth afterward to remove all the spit out goop before it crusted into his fur. Taking flavorless medicine = HELLZ NO, but having his face wiped again and again with a wet washcloth until he resembled a drowned rat = NO PROBLEMO. Go figure. At least this means that he won't have to step into my Little Barbershop of Horrors again. Mission: Double Accomplished. Phew.
Now we just need to wait a week and re-test to make sure that everyone is truly worm-free. Cross all your fingers and toes, please.
Speaking of worms and other disgusting things, is anyone else still watching Man vs. Wild? I used to love, love, LUUUURVE this show. I subscribed to Bear's blog, I eagerly awaited each new episode, and I felt inspired after watching Mr. Grylls brave new and treacherous climates. But then that whole scandal happened, and my heart was sort of broken. I mean, I know it's TV and TV isn't real, and there was undoubtedly some serious editing going on to put together the polished hour-long journeys, but planting tame horses and pretending they're wild mustangs? Having rafts pre-assembled by experts and then pretending that Bear constructed them with his bare hands? "Chancing upon" poisonous snakes that had been trapped and released directly in Bear's path? That is too much. I felt deceived, cheated on, and hurt. That's right, Bear Grylls. You hurt me. Personally. And I'm not sure I can forgive you.
The new format of the show that they've adopted in response to this scandal is just, what's the word I'm looking for here? BORING. Bear jaunts from task to task with no coherent segue in between. With the old format he had a purpose: to either find a way out of the wilderness or to simply survive for a set amount of time if getting out was truly impossible. Now, there's no point. When he's done showing us how to climb out of a crevasse (which he jumped into on purpose), he just goes off puma hunting with a native (and then suddenly gives up the moment they're "really close"). After he show us how to kill a poisonous snake (which they are now careful to note has been placed there specifically for the show), we go straight to cutting open a camel carcass. There's no flow, and it's painfully obvious that any continuity seen in the previous seasons was totally fabricated through creative editing and staged situations.
Instead of being an impressive show about surviving under dire circumstances, it seems that Man vs. Wild has morphed into Fear Factor starring Bear Grylls. The "special episode" that Joel and I watched last night, titled "Bear Eats" confirmed the transition for me: an entire hour dedicated to Bear eating sheep eyeballs and drinking the water from elephant poop is hardly something I'm interested in. I didn't mind those parts of the show when eating unpleasant things was simply a means to survival, but more and more it seems to be the focus of the show. And if we're admitting that this is all planned, staged, and supported by an entire film crew, then why is it necessary for the star to actually eat live snakes on camera? If that's what the show is going to revolve around from now on, then I'm simply not interested.
Unfortunately, with the writer's strike still in fully swing, THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO WATCH. Can't we all just reach a settlement so I can go back to enjoying the shows that didn't pretend to be real? Moonlight, how I miss you. A poorly scripted, terribly acted show with plot holes the size of the Grand Canyon would be so much better than watching Bear Grylls eat another beetle.
But at least we have this to look forward to: A Law and Order marathon on TNT beginning at noon on New Year's Eve and ending at 10pm New Years Day. Maybe there is a Santa Claus after all.