I can has medicare?

Hey, guess what I bought this week?   PET INSURANCE.   Crazy Cat Lady bridge, officially crossed! 

Between Max, The Cat With A Thousand And One Problems (Food allergies?  Check!  Obesity?  Check! Sensitive stomach?  Check!  Crippling anxiety?  check!  Cancer?  DOUBLE CHECK!) and Henry, The Cat Who Ran Away And Then Came Back With Three Parasites And A Mangled Paw, I've wondered from time to time if I should have considered pet insurance.   But in general, I dislike insurance - surely a mindset I inherited from my mother, who describes insurance as "betting against yourself".   I've had terrible experiences with my own bastardly insurance company, and I just don't trust that paying for insurance will actually guarantee that I won't be slammed with bills because of some loophole or fine print. 

Plus, PET INSURANCE?  Do you want to know how much fun I made of my former coworker for having health insurance for her Teacup Yorkie?  A LOT.  But she also considered her dog "an investment", so she totally deserved it.  Also, her dog was seriously annoying. 

BUT.  Lately, Madison has been looking a bit thin.  We had sort of noticed it, but weren't at all concerned until the fourth or fifth person to visit our house in the past few weeks remarked on how gaunt he looked.  It's not like I hold him up in front of visitors and ask HEY TAKE A LOOK AT THIS CAT,   WHAT DO YOU THINK, TOO SKINNY?  It's more like our guests are a tad surprised that when they go to pet him and get stabbed by his protruding hip bones.  His fluffy fur hides his weight very well, but now that I've started paying attention... he's way too thin.  Our questionable bathroom scale says he's lost twenty percent of his body weight since he got weighed at the vet's office in January.   My bank account started to panic when Dr. Google, DVM considered this symptom and returned diagnoses like "object lodged in stomach: surgery required" and "hyperthyroidism: say hello to expensive bloodwork and lifetime medication". 

My first instinct is to ignore, ignore, ignore.  So he's lost a pound or four?   Whatever, he's getting older.   He seems fine.  He's still capable of pushing me off my pillow at night and chasing Henry around the house. 

My second instinct, which is growing stronger by the minute, is that something is really wrong.  Worry has been building up all week, until on Wednesday night I found myself on the computer at 1am signing him up for pet insurance.   The next morning, I decided I was crazy and called to cancel the policy.  By the time I hung up with the friendly customer service guy half an hour later, I'd bought a policy for Henry as well.   

I cringe at the thought of telling people that my freaking cats have health insurance, but I honestly feel SO MUCH BETTER now that I'm paying $13 per month for accident and illness coverage.  I do realize that whatever is wrong with Madison technically pre-dates his policy and is therefore not covered, but I'm hoping that I can find some sneaky way around that by holding off a few more weeks before taking him to the vet and pretending like whatever's going on is a brand new problem.  (Dear insurance company:  Just kidding!  This is all lies!  I would never commit insurance fraud!)  And hey, if it turns out that nothing is wrong with him and I really am just a crazy, over-protective worrywart, well... I'd be very happy with that.   

I haven't bought any insurance for Max because I sort of feel like that ship has sailed.   Really, who is going to insure his chronically allergic, neurotic, obese, cancer-filled ass?   He's a seinor citizen (66 and a half, if one human year = seven cat years), so shouldn't there at least be some crappy government-sponsored insurance to get him his kitty viagra?   Do I sense a future Michael Moore film?

Do any of you have pet insurance?  Have you used it?  Is it a total scam?   I would love to hear about any experiences or recommendations you have.  Except for advice to chill the fuck out.  Trust me, I've spend 27 years trying to do that.  No dice.

I'll keep you posted, don't you worry.  Keeping the interweb updated on my cat's health issues is priority numero uno here at OPH Headquarters.   Whether you like it or not.

Comments

[Audrey]

Oh, hai, new blog design! I like it!

My dogs don't have health insurance, but they probably will when they're older and more prone to health problems. They are both on our vet's wellness plan, though, which is something like $15/month and covers the cost of vaccinations and other routine stuff. It has saved us a lot of money, and I totally love it.

[RA]

I love that - insurance is betting against yourself. So true. I need to show that JG so he can use it with his statistics kids.

[-R-]

I don't have any pets, so obviously that would be really weird if I had pet insurance. My sister is a vet though, and when I made fun of a coworker for having pet insurance, my sister said it can actually be a good deal.

[Heidi]

boyfriend and i got our dog VPI pet insurance after we had to rush her to the emergency room. We don't know what was wrong with her other than our house was covered in diarrhea and she wasn't moving well. so we took her in, they ran some tests and kept her overnight. Still don't fully know what happened to her but she's better now...$1500 later.

after that, we got the insurance, and we pay about $50 for each vet visit/medicines and they cover the rest. we pay about $30/month so it's not a bad deal.

[Marriage-101]

I have pet insurance AND the vet's medical plan that helps cut down on costs like shots and regular checkups. I thought about cancelling the insurance, but it's not that much for just one dog.

[Keri]

My dad had pet insurance for our cocker spaniel and he used it ALOT. My dog had to have ekg's and all other kinds of stuff. It was totally worth it.

[elise]

As you know, Lydah's pre-existing condishunz I think might preclude her from getting insurance NOW, but I am TOTALLY doing it later and definitely will get it with any new dog additions.

[Erin]

I don't have insurance for my dogs, but they are on a "wellness plan" at the vet we go to. Basically, I pay $15 a month, and it covers all of their shots for the year, plus two comprehensive exams, and any office visits. I also get a discount on any services not included in the wellness plan. It's nice...the shots for two dogs alone would cost more than I pay, so it works out! Plus, I don't have to worry about paying for an office visit anytime I'm concerned about their health.

[alyndabear]

Love your new blog design, Jen. :)

I would say take it out. It's not that expensive - and if worst comes to worst, could save you $$ in worst case scenarios.

When I get my dogs back home, they'll be covered. Oh yes. They will!

P.S. Hi! I miss you! I feel very scattered lately. And I hope you are well. :P

[Kirsten]

I put my puppy on the Petsmart wellness plan. I don't love love the vet I am forced to bring her to on that plan b/c its a different vet every time. But its been worth it money wise since she is a puppy! its like $22 a month, but that included getting her fixed for free! ( i think i paid like $30 for some meds for her getting fixed). And all her puppy shots were free. Plus, i can bring her in for a free vet visit...and then go ahead and decline all the tests they want to do that would cost extra. Stella had snot coming out of her nose..and we were supposed to dog sit that weekend..and I didn't want to get the other dog sick. They tried to sell me $200 worht of tests..but I decided to just wait till Monday to see if she got better or worse. But having gone to the vet did make me feel better about taking the other dog in for the weekend!
Again- loving the new design!
What are you doing for memorial day weekend!? Want to come to my parents place and we'll take the boat out!!

[Erika]

I've considered it but it doesn't cover routine stuff right? Luckily that's all we've needed so far. But my pets are younger. So who knows. But $13/month...that's nothing for peace of mind. So pet insurance is really that strict about pre-existing conditions??

[Laura]

We had it on our cat and 1 of our dogs and it really paid well. You can have riders to cover the more mundane things like shots, but for the larger things it really rocks. We only cancelled it because we are trying to pay down debt and while it rocked, we added up what we paid over the time we had it and what it paid us back and it came out about equal. If we had an animal with something chronic I can see that it would be much more "profitable"

[Jemima]

We tried to get it before Beulah's duck incident, but it was too late. But if you suspect your cat could have cancer or a blockage, that stuff is going to COST YOU, and I think pet insurance is very smart. And wait a couple of weeks and take him in for something different, like having his nails trimmed. Then see if they weigh him and notice he's lost weight. That way the insurance bastards can suck it.

It was different back in the day before they had pet specialists for various ailments, extensive animal surgery, doggy oncologists, etc. But now, it costs a lot more than the usual $20 per visit charge it did when i was young. Beulah can't walk into the office without costing $250. A little insurance would be worth it. I say, go for it.

[Stephanie]

God, now I have to go and search out State Farm and see if we can add our two to our auto and home owners insurance. What about Blue Cross/Blue Sheild? Think they allow them as dependants?

[Laurel]

See, now, I am not even responsible enough for a pet. This is why I cannot have a child. (Phew, glad we cleared that up.)