The Twilight Movie Verdict, 3am edition

The good:

Charlie.  The movie takes him beyond the one-dimensional, dim-witted dad in the book.  He's awkward, but he's funny.  He's great.

Renee.  Ditto.  She's flighty, she's scatterbrained, she texts.  Love it.

Jessica.  So spot on, better than in the book.

Rosalie.  Jesus, what a witch.  She's perfect and she's gorgeous and I love to hate her.

Bella's wardrobe.  Kudos to whoever was in charge of that for making her look like Bella.  I'm sure it was hard to resist the urge to Hollywood her up, bravo.

The necessary Hollywood updates.  Bella's dinosaur, secondhand computer is replaced with a cute Mac laptop and her room looks like a regular teen's room, but not an over-the-top, Hollywood teen's room with thousands of dollars of gadgets and furniture.  Her emails to Renee are replaced with cell phone calls, but there's not a bluetooth in sight.  Her ratty sweats became a nondescript tank top and 3/4 length pajama bottoms.  Perfectly done for the movie. 

The so-so:

Jacob's actor is much better fitting than I thought when I first saw his picture.  To my delight, he actually looks native american, as do Quil, Embry and Billy Black.  One problem: his teeth.  You'll see what I mean.  Other than that, I loved him.  He's not cute, but he's not supposed to be.  If it weren't for the teeth, he'd be perfect.

Kristen Stewart.  Was she just eclipsed (ha!  get it?) by Robert Pattinson?  Or maybe it was the dialog she was forced to work with (more on that in the next section).  Or, maybe, just maybe, I'm just ragingly jealous that she got to kiss Edward Pattinson.   

Stephenie Meyer's cameo.  I doubt anyone who wasn't watching for it would even notice, but I was and I did.  And I just don't see why it was necessary.  I realize it's a vampire flick, but no need to channel M. Night Shamalan.

Use of the soundtrack.  With promise of every song in the exceptional soundtrack being featured in the movie, I had really high hopes.  It's true that portions of each song were in there, somewhere... but the rest of the movie was dead silent.  That works sometimes, if it's done VERY well (think Castaway)... did not work so well here.  Notable exceptions: Supermassive Black Hole for the baseball scene was awesome, the Iron and Wine song at the end made me choke up a little.  Full Moon, played near the beginning, was also used really well. 

The bad:

Tyler is black.  Angela and Eric are Asian.  Completely unecessary and disconcerting attempts to PC-up a story that wasn't un-PC to begin with.  I am pretty sure that the tiny town of Forks, WA isn't exactly diverse and I'm not sure whose idea it was to throw a couple of token minorities into the cast to liven things up, but it was a bad one.  Especially since, of course, the two token Asians are a couple, because whoah, a vampire-human-werewolf love triangle is A-OK, but an interracial high school couple?  No way.  And to add insult to injury, Eric's personality doesn't resemble his character in the book in the slightest.   

The dialog.  Much is lifted from the book, but it didn't need to be.  It certainly wasn't the fantastic writing that made me fall unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Twilight, and they really missed an opportunity to make that better in the movie.

The storyline.  It stuck pretty much exactly to the book, with one notable exception: James's coven is introduced much earlier in the movie.   I can't believe I'm saying this, but I wish they'd taken more liberty with the plot.  You can't cram an entire novel into two hours without making some changes, and we skipped too quickly from wondering who that dreamy boy is to understanding that he's a vampire to being in love to running for our lives.  I'd equate it to Breaking Dawn in that it's not bad, but it could have been GREAT with just some minor, thoughtful changes.

The special effects.  I would have far preferred if the entire sunlight-dazzle effect had been left in the book, where they could be properly left up to the imagination.  That small point wasn't really necessary to the plot, since I think we all know by now that vampires can't go out into sun, and no one really cares WHY, do they?  It worked in the book, it looked like shit in the movie.  The rest of it, which was just a few fast-forward zooms around from Edward, was... eh, ok.  It could have been cut and nothing would have been lost.

"Spider monkey"?  What. the. hell.

But most importantly, the Edward: 

You guys, Edward is so ridiculously smokin' hot that he makes 498 pages of Bella mooning over his perfect, glorious existence seem like a shameful understatement.  Robert Pattinson WAS Edward, and Edward was, impressively, EXACTLY as described in the book (which is to say, absolutely, devastatingly swoonworthy 100% of the time).   

I see that I've got a whole lot more words under the so-so and bad sections, and I think that's more because it's nearly four in the morning (the midnight showing thing was certainly an experience) and because some jackhole ran a red light and nearly killed me on the way home (thank goodness I had that coffee at midnight).  The movie did not suck.  It wasn't as good as the book, but I'm looking forward to seeing it again tomorrow. 

What did you guys think?

Comments

[Janssen]

SQUEEEEEEE! Seriously, I do not even know what to say except that. I cannot WAIT to see it tonight. I'm so glad Edward is so perfect.

And of course, now I'm so curious about the teeth thing. Is it that they're ridiculously, perfectly white and straight? I remember that from seeing him in interviews. Please tell me they didn't do something horrendous like make them pointy.

[Annemarie]

I'm going tomorrow night! I know, I'm late, but I have tickets to Lion King tonight!

[heidikins]

I really just get my kicks ready about how you feel about this movie. You crack me up!

xox

[Isabel]

I can't wait until 1:00 tomorrow...when I finally get to see it.

(Dude, I'm scared of Jacob's teeth now. I am so obsessive with teeth.)

One question....were you in love with Rob as Edward before? Or did the movie convince you of his hottness?

[Viviane]

I am sooooo jealous! Twilight comes out here January 15th! That is next freakin' year! How am I supposed to wait this long when everyone is blogging about it?

[Jackie]

Just got back from the movie!

When we first met (at Janet's dinner party) and I started reading your blog you were reviewing the Twilight books, and at that time I had never heard of the books...but now that I have read the first, I understand your obsession! Edward is TO DIE FOR. And the movie just sealed the deal.

Your review is spot on, lots of so-so and bad, but also some good. I definitely got more into the movie as it went on because I felt a lot of the acting was only so-so in the beginning. It was probably due to the fact that it's hard to convey all that the characters were thinking only through actions, but still. Edward's serious faces and stares in the beginning were a little much. Luckily I'll forgive him because he is so hot. Once they were "together" though, I forgot all about how strange and awful they were in the beginning. Okay I'm rambling. Oh, and I loved Charlie. He was perfect!

[Kim]

I have the SECRET TO LOVING TWILIGHT THE MOVIE!!!
After seeing ‘Twilight the first time I came home and read a slew of disappointed and even angry posts about it. I, having loved the movie, was shocked. I went back to see it a second time to see why these book-loving fans like myself didn’t like it. (Well, and I couldn’t wait to see it again.) WHILE WATCHING A SECOND TIME, it clicked. I knew the minute that Edward opened his mouth, what set them off: Edwards’s non-melodic lack-luster approach in line delivery. Bella sees Edward as a velvet crooner who spills each word in fluent confidence; however this is not how Rob Pattinson chose to deliver it, and for good reason. REMEMBER, Edward is dealing with 4 MAJOR DILEMAS while talking to Bella: 1. He has an intense desire to launch at any moment and drink the blood form her body. 2. He is feeling intense love for her, something he’s never experienced in his over 100 years on earth. 3. He is an imposture—not human—and he’s trying to act as if he is. 4. He’s never communicated with somebody whose thoughts he can’t read. Rob Pattinson played the character true to this. So, IF YOU WANT TO LOVE THE MOVIE—and who doesn’t--Look for where the REAL MAGIC HAPPENS: IN THEIR EYES. Rob HAS mastered Edward in the eyes! The intensity of his love & desire for Bella is evident in his hypnotic fix as they are locked into each others gaze. SIMPLY BRILLIANT!

[Kim]

I have the SECRET TO LOVING TWILIGHT THE MOVIE!!!
After seeing ‘Twilight the first time I came home and read a slew of disappointed and even angry posts about it. I, having loved the movie, was shocked. I went back to see it a second time to see why these book-loving fans like myself didn’t like it. (Well, and I couldn’t wait to see it again.) WHILE WATCHING A SECOND TIME, it clicked. I knew the minute that Edward opened his mouth, what set them off: Edwards’s non-melodic lack-luster approach in line delivery. Bella sees Edward as a velvet crooner who spills each word in fluent confidence; however this is not how Rob Pattinson chose to deliver it, and for good reason. REMEMBER, Edward is dealing with 4 MAJOR DILEMAS while talking to Bella: 1. He has an intense desire to launch at any moment and drink the blood form her body. 2. He is feeling intense love for her, something he’s never experienced in his over 100 years on earth. 3. He is an imposture—not human—and he’s trying to act as if he is. 4. He’s never communicated with somebody whose thoughts he can’t read. Rob Pattinson played the character true to this. So, IF YOU WANT TO LOVE THE MOVIE—and who doesn’t--Look for where the REAL MAGIC HAPPENS: IN THEIR EYES. Rob HAS mastered Edward in the eyes! The intensity of his love & desire for Bella is evident in his hypnotic fix as they are locked into each others gaze. SIMPLY BRILLIANT!

[Erin]

I saved this post in my reader until I saw the movie tonight. I agree completely about the sparkle effect. Lame. And what was with the suddenly multiracial small-town high school. Vampires, I could believe, multiracial small town, not so much.

[Courtney]

So, I haven't seen it yet, but I'm throwing my two cents out there anyway. I just can't see that guy as being Edward. Maybe because I don't find him that attractive? Is he much hotter in the movie than he is in all the ads and pictures and stuff?

[Isabel]

Oh my goodness, who is Kim who commented? She has put so much thought into this. AWESOME.

[Emma]

I loved the movie. The sparkle scene...not so much. In fact, I was so busy trying to get a picture of it that I pretty much missed it all.

My 13 year old has seen it 3 times and has yet to find a fault.

And I totally missed the Stephenie Meyer scene! I meant to look out for it. Well, may have to go see it again.