Operation Pink Herring

Mission status report

Operation One Car: Phase One - Scooter procurement

It took the police less then 24 hours to find our adorable stolen scooter.  And then it took us a week, three trips to the city impound lot and $300 in fees to get the city to relinquish custody.   The repair shop a took another week and an additional $79 to assess the damage and report that it would cost a minimum of $1600 to get our poor scooter running again.  Since that's more than we paid, that's  not going to happen.  So... the poor scooter is sitting forlornly in the rain, guarding our rear deck. 

The question is, do we get a new scooter?  A dude who lives down the block came over to talk to us when we were unloading the sad, broken scooter from the back of Joel's truck and turns out he's had his scooter stolen too.  His was locked up better than ours was, so that's discouraging.  He said some other people a block over also got their scooter stolen.  It looks like locking it up on the sidewalk is out of the question.  The other option is to keep it in the backyard and wheel it through the house when we need to use it (NOT IDEAL), or to move some of the junk in our alley around and see if we could possibly squeeze it through there.  We did try that at first and it just seemed too difficult... but now that we basically know that anything left on the sidewalk is going to disappear, locks or no locks, I guess we can try it again.  There's a suitable replacement scooter in Virginia.  I just don't know.  I am not sure I can stand having my heart broken and my faith in humanity shaken again.  Or to have my bank account depleted any further.  Maybe I'll just get a bike instead.  Sigh.  Mission: on hold.

Operation One Car: Phase Two - New Car selection and purchase

In happier news, internet, say hello to our new family member:

She's a 2008 Mazda 3 hatchback, which makes her by far the newest car either of us has ever owned.  You guys, get this: THE AIR CONDITIONING WORKS!  We no longer need to keep a sweat towel in the car.  Basically, I am in love.  I feel like it took us FOREVER to make a decision (we also considered and/or test drove aNissan Sentra SER, Nissan Altima Hybrid, Ford Escape Hybrid, Honda Civic SI, Honda Civic Hybrid, Honda Fit and a Toyota Camry Hybrid), but I am really, really happy with this car.  It is the perfect car for us.  And have I mentioned that the air conditioning works?  

So, let's review: in our quest to be a one car/one scooter household, we now have... three cars and one broken scooter.   Right.

The next order of business is to sell my Jetta as soon as humanly possible.  The plan was to trade it in and avoid the hassle of dealing with the kooks and loons and possible murderers on Craigslist, and that would have been all fine and good if the Mazda dealership had offered me more than three hundred dollars for my trusty VW.   I mean, yes.  It has its problems.  But THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS?  No.  Especially when the very day before, Honda had offered me $1,000.   And to add literal insult to injury, the Mazda salesguy had the nerve to call my car a "beater".   And then I walked outside, started up my beater Jetta and ran him over.  The end.  No one talks to my car like that. 

Dealing with Craigslist so far has been predictably ridiculous.  One dude offered me half of my asking price to pick it up "2day in person".  Two others send identical two-word emails with no punctuation.  Another guy said he'd come and look at it immediately and then never showed up.  All in all, completely unsurprising.  There seem to be a few viable buyers mixed in with the kooks, so keep your fingers crossed.  And if you're interested in a 1998 Jetta, come on over.  She's a good car, and I want her to go to a good home.  I don't want to take her to Carmax.  That just feels like the equivalent of dropping her off at the pound and hoping she gets adopted. [UPDATE 6PM: And my Jetta just sold for the full asking price of $1,000.  I got over 20 inquiries in the 24 hours it was up on Craigslist.  SUCK ON THAT, ASSFACE SALESGUY. WHO'S A BEATER NOW?]

After the Jetta gets sold and we decide if we're getting a new scooter or not, Joel's truck will be next up on the chopping block.  As much as I've complained about that truck (it's too tall, it's hard for me to get into, the seatbelt cuts into my neck, there are no cupholders, ET CETERA), I'm feeling ridiculously nostalgic at the thought of selling it.  I told Joel this weekend that we could keep it if he really wanted to, and he pointed out that that would completely defeat the purpose of this whole mission, and I know that.  But still!  Sob.  I'm sorry for all the mean things I said, old truck.  Remember when you moved all our furniture to our new house, one truckload after another? Man, those were the days.  And how will I know when Joel is coming home from work without the distinctive sound of the 14-year-old truck engine cruising past the house in search of truck-sized parking space?   Jesus, I am going to cry.

Good day, sunshine

Item #1, Good News File:

You guys, the impossible has happened: the Baltimore City Police Dept recovered our adorable stolen scooter.  If you had asked me on Friday what the chances were we'd ever see that scooter again, I would have said about 10%.   And then I would have said there was a 1% chance she was driveable.  I really thought the only possibility was that the thieves would ditch her somewhere when they realized they couldn't drive her -- probably after beating the hell out of her, just for kicks.  

But it seems I have a lot to learn about grand theft auto (that's what it says on our police report, by the way.  Adorable scooter theft is Serious Biznass) and the hotwiring of scooters, because the cops apprehended a suspect in the act of riding our stolen scooter.  Riding it!  Without the key!  So... I guess it is possible to release all those built-in brakes.   Who knew? 

She's being stored in the city lot right now, which I imagine to be the vehicular equivalent to a dog pound.  Hang in there, little scooter, we're coming!  We just have to go down to the lot during the inconvenient hours of 8:30am and 5pm and submit proof of ownership, wait for the city to verify said proof of ownership, and then return with Joel's truck (which is currently in the shop) during those ultra-convenient business hours and pay the $130 tow fee and the daily storage fee.   Then we're planning to take her directly to some sort of scooter store to be repaired, because the message from the police indicated that there was "some damage" to the ignition and the gas cap.  So we should have her back in riding condition sometime this month, if we're lucky.  And dudes, I can't even bring myself to be annoyed.  WE'RE GETTING OUR SCOOTER BACK!  YIPPEE!

Item #2, Good News File:

I went to a wedding this weekend and I think it was probably the most fun I've ever had at a wedding.  A bold statement, I know.  I was, um, not exactly excited about going to this wedding for the following reasons (in descending order from most valid to least valid): 

• The wedding was in Iowa, and Iowa is far away. 

• Northwest Airlines changed my flights and added two hours to my layover in Minneapolis. 

• Joel had to coach, so I was going alone. 

• I was ridiculously tired after getting up at 5am on Wednesday and then having insomnia on Thursday because I was still pissed off about the scooter. 

• When I booked the flights, it seemed like a good idea to save $150 by flying out of DCA (a 45 min drive and then another 45 min metro ride away) instead of BWI (a 20 min drive).  

• I wanted to stay home and play with my cats all weekend. 

• I felt poopy and my knee hurt. 

• I couldn't decide which dress to wear and felt like wearing sweatpants all weekend. 

• My social anxiety, let me show you it. 

• I had a lot of TV to watch. 

• I didn't feel like packing. 

• Joe Biden says you get swine flu on airplanes.

My mood started to turn around the minute I arrived in the Des Moines airport.  The hotel shuttle I'd reserved not only showed up, but was right on time and the driver greeted me by name.  The hotel itself turned out the be the nicest Holiday Inn in the United States.   And when I finally dragged myself to the Friday evening pre-party, I had an awesome time.  The groom is a good friend of mine from college, and he was in a crappy relationship with a girl who can only be described as Pure Evil Incarnate for most of our undergrad years.  I met his new girlfriend, who'd later become his fiance, two years ago when he brought her to our college reunion, and I immediately wanted to give her a bear hug.    She is so wonderful and nice and perfect and at the risk of sounding really corny, their happiness was just infectious.  Plus, I had a free glass of wine at the hotel bar, followed by several free shots from the friendly hotel bartender, followed by several more free drinks at the Friday night pre-wedding party.  And then the best man performed an interpretive dance to Like A Prayer.  Naked.  It was a good time.

As an added bonus, I was able to convince my friend and his wife to drive out to see the bridges of Madison County with me on Saturday morning before the ceremony.  I am almost ashamed to admit that I not only read Robert Waller's book, but I loved it.  And yet, I managed to miss the fact that that the bridges in question were located in Iowa.  Fifteen miles from our hotel. 

But no matter what you thought of the book (or the movie, which I haven't seen), you have to agree that it'd be a shame to spend an entire weekend in Iowa and NOT see these bridges.  Well, that's what I say, anyway. 

We managed to squeeze in four of the remaining bridges before the ceremony started at 2pm.

Have I mentioned that I very nearly left the camera at home?  Joel took the small one to his race, and I didn't feel like lugging the big Nikon alllll the way to Iowa.   Yeah, I was THAT cranky on Thursday night.

Oh, and we also did a drive-by of John Wayne's birthplace-- we were planning to skip it, but all roads in Winterset, Iowa lead to the John Wayne museum.  No matter how many twists and turns we made trying to find the next bridge on our list, we were still forced to drive directly past the museum.  And when we saw the painted van tribute to Mr. Wayne outside, we figured we might as well stop by for a minute.  We drew the line at paying $6 for the guided tour, though.

I'm utterly exhausted, but in a happy way.   Thanks for the memories, Iowa.

 

Hello, Goodbye

We've been thinking a lot about what to do with our car situation.  Mine continues to suffer from gremlin-itis, which isn't exactly debilitating (the latest thing to go was a vacuum hose, which slipped off its bracket and got chewed up by the alternator and made the engine sound like a lawnmower for two days) but it is very annoying, and makes me nervous that a Big Break is looming on the horizon.   Joel's truck works fine, but is nearing its fourteenth birthday -- not to mention the fact that it's a bitch to find a parking spot big enough for a pickup truck.   We've considered selling the truck and making do with the ailing Jetta for as long as we can, since a sedan is far more practical than a pickup... and we've considered selling my car and learning to live with the truck, even though the seatbelt chokes me and it's impossible to park.. because after all, it's a perfectly good vehicle. 

And then we took the Jetta to York, PA for Joel's race last weekend -- the weekend when it was 90 degrees out -- and were reminded of what it's like to drive a car with no air conditioning in the summer in Maryland.    That settled it for me: we need a new car. 

So we've been looking at cars online, buying car magazines, even test driving a few at Carmax this weekend (a Mazda 3 and a Nissan Sentra, both of which we liked very much).  And on Sunday, we implemented Step 1 in our plan to become a one-car family: we added this beauty to our fleet.

She's a 2003 Honda Metro scooter, and isn't she adorable?  I really think that downsizing to one car is do-able, especially since once Joel finishes coaching in two days' time, neither of us will need to use the car to get to work.  But even so, I thought we really should have some way for the person left carless to get around.   And so Joel found this little beauty on Craigslist, and we drove to DC on Sunday night to pick her up.   I didn't get to ride her to work yesterday because I couldn't remember how to release the kickstand lock, but I DID manage to ride her to yoga and the post office and it was FUN.  Oh, how I loved our new little red scooter.

Notice I said "loved", past tense?  Yeah... that's because someone stole it last night.  Just over 48 hours after we bought it.  That's got to be some kind of record.

Both the built-in locks (the kickstand and the front wheel) were on, and neither can be released without the key, so the thief must have lifted it into a truck and spirited her away.  I also had it chained with a cable to a signpost, just to to be extra-sure.  If I'd been smarter, I would have put the U-lock directly through the front wheel (instead, I just used it to secure the two ends of the cable, and the cable was looped through the tire and around the post).   But... I didn't think of that.   I actually thought it was pretty redundant to be locking it up with two built-in locks already in place.  But we hoped that a visible lock would deter people from even trying to steal it.  I mean, that's why I put The Club on my car.  Sigh. 

It could be worse, that's what I'm telling myself.  We still have the two cars, there are bigger issues in the world, yadda yadda.  But I'm really sad.  Now what?  We're out $1150, for starters.  We could get a new scooter, but would that just get stolen too?  Do we try to be a 1-car household with no auxiliary vehicle?  Do we go back to the drawing board?

I filed a police report first thing this morning (and I do mean first thing, Joel noticed it was missing at 5am when he left for practice), so maybe the thieves will ditch it when they realize they can't ride it.  Maybe.  We can hope.  IN the meantime, if you see this scooter, tell her to call home immediately.  She's in big trouble for breaking curfew.