Hey, so you know what I did last weekend? I went to my brother's wedding! It was the most lovely wedding in the history of weddings. Here's a picture of the newlyweds.
And that's the only picture I actually have with people in it (and by "people", yes, I mean "their hands") because, huh, that weekend went by at a supernaturally fast pace. Possibly that shot of vodka my other brother and I did at 1:30 am in the hotel bar had something to do with it. We were just trying to determine how drunk we were. You all know the foolproof How Drunk Are You Test, right? You do a shot of vodka. If you need a chaser, you're not drunk enough. If you accuse the bartender of putting water in your shot glass instead of vodka, who does he think he istrying to cut you off, you're fine and you KNOW water when you taste it THERE IS NO WAY THAT WAS VODKA SHUT UP OMG: you're probably drunk. Seriously, this test works every time. Try it!
Ever since we got home from my brother's lovely wedding, a sense of general panic has been slowly building up. You see, I'd been using that wedding as a landmark in my head. Every time I'd have one of those nagging thoughts about how I really probably should be figuring out whether we need to order table numbers and escort cards and maybe we should register at more than one store, I'd shrug it off because we still have lots of time -- and besides, we need to focus on K's wedding! And his wedding is much closer! Every time I'd start to worry about something for our wedding, I'd think about how stressed they must be and I'd go Google chat with my brother about how things were going and we'd exclaim over how fast the time was going by and how much fun the wedding was going to be. I felt like I knew what I was talking about. Don't worry about this, forget about that, all that matters is the two of you and your happiness blah blah blah.
And now that their wedding is over and the newlyweds are off honeymooning in Hawaii, I'm starting to freak out. There is no other way to put it. There are a million seemingly simple decisions that need to be made and I just don't know. Should we extend the reception by an hour? On the one hand, we have people coming in from very far away to celebrate with us and I feel like the least we can do is give them a party that goes past 10pm... and on the other hand, I don't think I can live with myself if we spend $850 for one hour of time, and that's how much it would cost us to tack on extra time with the venue, the caterer and the DJ.
Should we have table numbers printed? What about programs and menu cards? And what about shuttles from the hotels to the wedding and back again after the reception? Will people be upset if we don't offer any transportation?
And have I mentioned that we haven't booked a honeymoon, or even decided on where we want to go? Or that my dress, which I ordered from a Very Reputable Bridal Shop in November hasn't arrived yet? I was pretty much OK with both of these facts, but it seems I'm the only one who feels that way. Everyone I've told about the MIA dress has been horrified. What do you mean it's not here? The wedding is six weeks away! Uh, yes, I am aware. But what am I supposed to do? I have been faithfully calling the dress shop every week and they've assured me that everything is fine and the dress will be here in time. And after all... we still have six weeks! Six weeks is plenty of time to do whatever needs to be done with wedding dresses. I'm annoyed that it's late and I'm aggravated that I cannot squeeze a definitive delivery date out of them, but there's no need to panic... right?
And the honeymoon... I mean, I don't' even know what to say to people who say things like "what are you waiting for? I planned my entire honeymoon to Jamaica in two hours!" That's great, but we're not interested in an all-inclusive lay-by-the-pool resort vacation. We're considering all sorts of places: Ireland, Iceland, Canada, San Francisco. Sure, we're a little behind the traditional schedule, but we've booked entire trips in far less time than six weeks. In fact, if we book something this weekend as planned, I'm pretty sure it will be the farthest in advance we've ever booked a trip. We booked the Barcelona trip less than a month ahead. I only had about three weeks advance notice about the Scotland. So... we're fine, right? Then why do I feel very much NOT FINE?
Worst of all, I hate myself for feeling this way. Up until now, I've stuck to my mantra: if it's stressing you out, CUT IT. I've caught myself a few times this week thinking "wow, it will be kind of nice when this wedding is over", and that is totally unacceptable. I refuse to feel that way. I refuse to spend our money and our time on something that isn't at least 90% enjoyable all the way through.
And so... yeah. So that's how things are going! I have been hesitating to write this entry because I'm afraid it'll sound whiny, I'm afraid it'll sound like I've lost focus on what really matters and I'm afraid I'll cringe if I re-read this a year from now. Also, I'm a little bit nervous I might start crying. I don't know how to write about how stressed I am without sounding like I'm not tremendously excited, which I am. But I just feel like if I get another email from Macy's with helpful "last minute" wedding registry advice I might kill someone.
Honestly, I cannot wait for our wedding. I am so excited and so thrilled and so completely in love. I know that's all that matters. But I'm having trouble convincing the rest of the wedding industry.