23 weeks

Well, here I am. I survived the weekend. Looking back, I am really not sure what I was so panicked about, but you know how that is. Or maybe you don't because you're not an anxiety-prone person who works themselves into a lather at the thought of not having a full weekend day to zone out on the couch. Lucky you.

Things went pretty well overall, if anyone cares. I survived the entire 18 hours of yoga training and my teaching portion went really well. No prize dropped from the ceiling as a reward when I walked out the door on Sunday at 4pm, but I'm sure that was just an oversight and a big box of chocolate covered something is on its way. The flea market was a pretty good success, despite the fucking RAIN that would not stop raining down from the rain-filled sky the entire day. And my friend and her boyfriend ended up not coming to town and staying with us. Which was probably best. For their own safety. I spent a good hour and a half cleaning up and putting shit away last night after work and the place STILL looks like a post-yard sale disaster. I had to leave the back door open all last night just to vent out the nasty smell that has somehow invaded the house. Henry the Cat chose to lounge on the deck next to the compost bin rather than in the house, if that tells you anything. I'm going to stop talking about this now.

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Now that it's glaringly obvious that I am quite pregnant, a lot of my fellow teacher trainees have been politely asking if I knew I was pregnant when I enrolled in this training. The answer is kind of complicated. When I registered and paid my non-refundable deposit in November, I was not pregnant. Shortly afterwards I got my PCOS diagnosis and we started to very seriously think about trying to get pregnant sooner rather than later. I obviously realized that with the training running from February-September, there was a possibility that I would (hopefully) have to complete some portion of it while pregnant. I looked at it as betting on both sides: if we were able to get pregnant, hooray!  And if we couldn't get pregnant, well... at least I'd be able to complete the training! Which, by the way, I'd been meaning to do for years, but there was always something in the way. I was working full time and going to grad school and didn't have time. I was travelling too much for work. I was planning a wedding. I just felt like if I put it off another year it was just never going to happen. So we plowed ahead on both tracks.

And then by the beginning of January, we realized that hooray and holy shit, I was pregnant. For real. With a baby. I emailed the studio owner who runs the training to see if I was even able to still do the training, which is pretty intense, while pregnant. She said it was totally up to me. I wouldn't be the first person to do go through some of the training pregnant (although I've since found out that I will be something like the third, and that I will be the first to do the ENTIRE thing pregnant), but they would refund my deposit if I wanted to drop out at that point. The thing was, I needed to decide right away so they could fill my space before the training started in February. If I started and then couldn't make it through, I'd be getting zero refund. This thing is pretty expensive. She did graciously offer that if I had to drop out, I could make up what I missed in a future year's training at no charge... but we really, REALLY hope to not live in Baltimore at that point. So I'm not considering that as an option.

Obviously, I decided to go ahead with it. At that time, way back in January, the pregnancy seemed so tenuous and incredible that it felt like I'd be tempting fate to make any sort of life alterations around it. And now here I am, halfway done with the pregnancy and halfway done with the training. So far, so good!  The training ends on September 11th. I am due on September 13th. The closer we get, the more ridiculous it seems that I thought cutting it so close was a feasable option.  But really, I didn't have much of a choice.Hopefully the baby stays in until its due date. Hey, my mom had all three of her children on her exact due date!  It could happen. And we're allowed to miss one day of the training, which I am obviously saving for that last day in case the baby is two days early. Maybe I'll be the first person to go into labor during this thing. At least I'll be surrounded by a pretty competent bunch, which includes two nurses and a gaggle of doulas and midwives. I'm trying not to worry about it, and to just take it one week at a time. Right now I can still do both. If I reach a point where I can't any more, I'll figure something out.

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You may have noticed that I'm still calling it "the baby". Not "him" or "her". That's because we're not finding out the sex. As an impatient person who doesn't really like surprises, trust me, I know. But Joel really, really wants it to be a surprise on the day of the birth and he's a pretty good guy so he gets his way on this. I'm actually very OK with it. What's another 20 weeks of not knowing in the grand scheme of life?  Sorry to disappoint those of you who've asked, though. You'll know when we know!

 

I have absolutely no feeling one way or the other. I had one dream that the doctor accidentally let it slip that it was a girl. So maybe it's a girl. Then again, I have about five girl names that I really like and no boy names that I'm absolutely in love with, so it's probably a boy. Place your bets!

Comments

[Liz]

I'm sure I'll be one of those people that just needs to find out as soon as possible, but I know a lot of people that wait. As far as guessing, I'm gonna say a boy. If only because I feel like I know more people having boys right now. Either way, I don't care as long as you still keep posting cute pregnant pics! I love those.

[-R-]

You look really great!

I would think doing yoga would actually be good for you during pregnancy, so maybe the training is a good thing. Yeah, you might miss the last class, but eh.

I loved finding out early, but my SIL waited for all 3 of her pregnancies and said finding out at the births was amazing.

[heidikins]

Oooh! Not knowing!?! That's awesome! I'm excited to hear more about him/her! You look fantastic!

xox

[Life of a Doctor's Wife]

You look fantastic, by the way. :-)

And wow - going through the whole training pregnant! That's pretty cool. Just enhances my belief that you are a rockstar.

[RA]

Wow, I had no idea that the training was like, almost exactly the length of your pregnancy. You go! I am ... a little scared for you, but I'm glad you have such skilled fellow students.

I hope you have a girl so that I can make her a pink herring onesie. I'm too scared to make one now, for fear of saddling a boy with that, gender inequalities notwithstanding, blah blah blah.

[Stephanie]

I have a baby gender theory that I swear some actual scientist needs to test. It only works on the first child but somehow it worked for quite a few of my family and friends that we have used it on. I need to know what Joel's father had as his first born and if he has any uncles what there first born was. I don't think Joel has any neices or nephews on his side so unless he has a brother that has kids it doesn't influence my theory. This theory was right for my parents, my sister, a few friends and Brooks and I. I also went with a boy as a guess for us since we could only come up with girl names. My sister ended up using her boy name on her second since she didn't use on her first surprise gender daughter. That was even three years later!

And you are a darn cute pregnant lady! Have you had inappropriate touches yet?

[Lisa]

My third child was a bit of a surprise, and we decided to let the gender be a surprise too (we had found out the sex for our first two)...best surprise I ever got. :-)

You look adorable!

[beth]

Looking great!

I like to imagine that baby will come out and right away be awesome at pigeon and downward dog. Tree is probably too hard for a baby, though.

[Carrie (in MN)]

Doesn't the baby get to start with child pose, Beth?

You look great and you are kick a&& for doing this teacher training during pregnancy!

[Lindsey]

I felt stressed just reading about your weekend plans the other day, but that's just because I'm an anxiety prone lady too! Also, you look freaking adorable!! I'm so excited for you.

[Audrey]

You look fantastic! Hope you make it through the end of training. People keep asking me how long I'll keep dancing, and I just tell them "as long as I can." I really have no intention of stopping if I don't have to.

We're finding out the sex of our baby next week (one week from today, actually!) and I really have no idea what it's going to be. At the beginning, I had very strong girl feelings, but lately I've been leaning more toward boy...which is to say that I really don't know. Like you, though, we have a girl name that we love, and we haven't settled on a boy's name yet, so it's probably a boy.

[Dating sites reviews]

I like this..Oooh! Not knowing!?! That's awesome! I'm excited to hear more about him/her! You look fantastic! God Luck...