What's that? You'd like to hear more about my boobs? WELL YOU'RE IN LUCK! Because I kinda don't have much else going on.
Thrush. Still have it. It is not so painful that I can't breastfeed anymore at least. Oh, it still hurts plenty, but that's not the worst part. The worst part is the boiling of everything that touches my boobs or Hannah's mouth every single time we use them. For twenty minutes. Pacifiers. Bottles. Pump parts. Since I am still feeding every two hours or so and then pumping after each feeding, I pretty much have a witch's brew of plastic boob accessories boiling away on the stove at all times.
Oh, and then there is the laundry. Because this thrush yeast loves to grow just about anywhere, we're only supposed to be using towels once before washing them. I don't know about you, but normally we are not single use towel people. More like... well, never you mind how often we wash our towels, alright? Because we're MORE than making up for our slovenly ways now. Shower towels, hand towels, dish towels, little hooded frog-shaped baby towels: YOU ARE ALL CONTAMINATED. Also dirty after a single use? Bras. Shirts. Pajamas. Baby blankets. Anything that comes near my boobs or Hannah's face, IN THE WASH. And, friends, that is a lot of wash.
At least we're saving a few loads of laundry a week by not using cloth diapers for a while. You can't use regular diaper cream with cloth diapers and I have no idea if this special thrush diaper cream is cloth-compatible, but I'm guessing not. And I will be damned before I let thrush ruin my preshus Fuzzibunz.
I miss you guys, too. Don't be sad. Someday we'll be together again.
No, thrush, you've already ruined my dignity and my sanity and you will NOT have my cloth diaper collection. So we're in disposables for the time being, and oh, how I hate them. The cheapo Target ones have this chemical stink and the fancy Pampers with the color-changing wetness indicator line cost twice as much. And given my daughter's love of peeing mid-diaper change, making our average diaper's on-butt time about thirty seconds, we are trucking through packs of diapers like nobody's business. If I'd known it was going to be this long I would have gone and bought a pallet of diapers at Costco at the very beginning, but NO, I assumed we'd get treated and get better and that would be that and I didn't want to be stuck with all those extra diapers hanging around the house! I should probably go out and buy a pallet tomorrow, but I still have myself convinced that NOW we are on the brink of a breakthrough and surely another forty pack will see us through to the end of this disaster. I mean, forty diapers! That's got to last at least a month, right? (Answer: not quite.)
When we last left off, I had pried a prescription (diflucan) from my OB's unwilling hands and Hannah had her own medication (nystatin) from the pediatrician, both in oral form and diaper rash cream. I had also bought a shitload of probiotics from both Whole Foods and Amazon when it looked like the diflucan wasn't going to come through. Between the probiotics, the diflucan, and the nystatin, we were well on our way to victory. Two days after starting this multi-front assault I felt SO much better. It really was thrush! And we were really going to survive! Much celebration ensued.
And then I got worse again. Thrush was like, oh HELL no, and stepped up the game. I got to the end of my diflucan bottle after a week and was still having shooting pain in my boobs whenever they got full. I finagled a refill out of my doctor's office, except they screwed up the dosage and I didn't realize it until after I'd already filled the prescription. So they had to give me ANOTHER prescription and now I have enough diflucan to cook up a REAL good batch of yeast infection meth. Meet me out back by the trailer if ya want some!
In the meantime, I decided to try gentian voilet. Because I like to leave no hippie home-remedy stone unturned. Plus, the internet swore that this dye was actually much more effective than nystatin because it kills the yeast on contact and penetrates mucous membranes and yadda yadda yadda. So what if it stains everything it comes in contact with bright purple, as long as it works!
Except for the part where it didn't actually work. But it sure was fun when Henry the Cat stepped in some and tracked it all over the kitchen!
The bright side, though, and I am telling myself that there is one because I just can't afford not to at this point, is that my supply issues disappeared the minute that I found out I couldn't store any milk. Thrush doesn't die in the freezer. Because why would it? That would just be too easy. So you can't bank up any milk while you're infected or you'll just get reinfected later on when you use that milk. My boobs heard that and were like HEY DID SOMEONE HERE ORDER SOME MILK HERE U GO.
Can you tell which bottle came from the days we were using the gentian voilet? Hint: it's the purple one in the middle.
I am not sure where we go from here, but I am not giving up. This is personal now, and I will not lose. I will fill the bathtub with boiling water and submerge my entire body for twenty minutes if I have to. I will wear the scratchy paper nursing pads and buy disposable diapers forty at a time and wash every towel in the house after a single use like this is the Lady MacBeth Goddamn Hotel. The forty-seven episodes of Friday Night Lights I've watched on Netflix Instant have me feeling a little bit competitive.