No, YOU'RE still posting Christmas photos

My latest concern about Hannah's health (not including thrush, we'll get to that later) is that she's not getting enough sleep. She sleeps well at night (and that's all I'll say about that, because I don't want to jinx it), so I figured it was cool with me if she just wanted to stay awake all day. I mean, I kind if envied people who could put their babies down in the crib for a stretch of a few hours and, like, do other stuff. But Hannah is generally a satisfied customer these days and I like hanging out with her all day. But then I got my weekly BabyCenter email and it said that babies her age need to be getting around fifteen hours of sleep a day. Uhhhh. Yeah. Even with her excellent night-sleeping habits, Hannah is at most getting ten hours of sleep a day. And, again, I don't mind hanging out with her, but apparently this lack of sleep is stunting her brain growth and stuff (paraphrasing). So I decided that was it! We'd start making her take naps!

So the next day I swaddled her up a few hours after she woke up in the morning, rocked her a bit in the rocking chair, and BOOM. Out like a light. Amazing I thought. This napping thing is great! That was super easy!

That lasted two days. Then she decided she preferred to stay awake and grin at me for forty five minutes instead of falling asleep. Or she'd fall asleep, I'd put her down in the swing (not the crib. Dear god, not the crib. We have learned our lesson on the crib, and that lesson is that cribs are very nice decorative pieces) and fifteen minutes later I'd look over and see her wide awake, smiling at me from across the room. NO! You're supposed to be sleeping! Stop smiling at me and let your brain grow!

Now she's decided that she'll nap... as long as it's on a human body. She'll take a four-hour nap on Joel's chest in the evening. She'll snooze happily in the sling while I bulldoze around the house, trying not to whack her into anything (it's just like being pregnant again! Except even more back-breaking!). But put her down? Hell no.

So my new approach is to try to put her to bed earlier. This approach also worked well for the first few days, but last night I got her to sleep at the early hour of 10:15pm and as a reward, she woke up for the day at 6:30am. Instead of the normal 7:30 or 8:30. Again, I'm really not complaining. I would have murdered someone a few months ago to get eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. It's glorious! But the problem is that I'm out of things to do. I've already fed Hannah, eaten my own breakfast, showered, and gotten us both dressed for the day. And dried my hair. And made myself a sandwich for lunch. I half-jokingly asked Joel if I could tag along with him to work today. We wouldn't be a bother, I swear! We'd just sit quietly by his desk, listening to other adult humans talk! And then we could have our ham sandwiches together and I wouldn't be drowning in loneliness and boredom at 9am. Possibly it is time for me to find some friends. 

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Bored and lonely as I may get sometimes, I love this three-month age. You guys told me things would get better, and it's not that I didn't believe you. I just didn't realize how much better they would get, and how fast. Hannah is, generally speaking, just so much fun to be around. She smiles a huge grin at everything from diaper changes to seeing the cat walk by. The nightly five-hour crying jags seem to have played themselves out (THANK YOU JESUS). And most importantly, I feel about a thousand times more confident. When she cries I can figure out what the problem is and fix it, whether she's tired or hungry or just in need of a change of scenery. I look forward to outings rather than having a panic attack about the thought of leaving the house alone with the baby. And have I mentioned the sleeping? At night? And how it's the best, most glorious thing in the world? I'm no longer wishing desperately for her to hurry up and get older because I just cannot take the crying any more, for the love of god. And looking back, Hannah was an easy baby. She first slept through the night at five weeks old. And yes, she cried and cried and cried on several occasions (including one day where she cried for twenty-seven hours straight, and I am not exaggerating one bit with that figure. She only stopped to eat and to take three two-hour naps; other than that it was all crying, all the time. From 9pm one night until she finally exhausted herself at midnight the next night.), but it ended by about six weeks. Oh, how easy it to look back and say that it was only about six weeks of misery. "Only" six weeks! HAHAHAHA babies are insane. But three month old babies are so much less insane and lo, it is fantastic.

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But what about the thrush, you're wondering. WHAT ABOUT THE THRUSH. Surely it's a distant memory, just like the endless cryfests? Oh, how I wish. Thrush has pretty much completely ruined my breastfeeding experience. I used to think people who talked about their breastfeeding "experience" were totally lame, but now I'd kill to have any experience other than never ending laundry and pain and boobs that look so nasty that it'd made you puke if I showed you the pictures. And yes, I have pictures, because I fully plan to shove them in the face of the pediatrician who told us that we didn't have thrush and I needed to just deal with the quote-unquote discomfort because "sometimes breastfeeding hurts". Except I am going to a new pediatrician now because I was not willing to believe that giant gashes filled with something that looked like mold on your boobs was normal. So I'm not sure what the pictures are for. Maybe to show to Hannah when she turns fourteen and it's time to have the talk about Why You Don't Want to Have a Baby When You're in High School. I'd say that some day, I'll look back on this experience and appreciate how it made me stronger, but that assumes that some day I will not have thrush and after thirteen weeks I am pretty sure I'm going to die having thrush. Put it on my tombstone.

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And now allow me to bore you with some boring family photos. I am feeling kind of sad that I didn't send out Christmas cards this year so now you will suffer for my laziness.

Merry "Christmas"! Which we celebrated, per tradition, at my brother's house the week before real Christmas. Hannah's second trip to the Motherland (aka New Jersey)!

Cheesy family portrait from actual Christmas, which we spent at home, doing nothing and driving absolutely nowhere. Miraculously, Hannah's mouth is not wide open.

Hannah, her loot, and her kickass smile. This is why I love three months.

On Christmas Eve we went to see the lights on 34th Street, this insane block in north Baltimore that goes totally crazy with the Christmas lights. We brought the stroller. That was a mistake.

Now pretend these photos I took with my cell phone tie this post together. Later!

Comments

[Lisa]

That is one adorable kid! What a great smile.

I am sure you have tried everything and will smack anyone who comments on it (ergo, me), but you have found a doctor who is treating you in conjunction with Hannah at the same time so you aren't passing it back and forth, yes?? I am so sorry about the thrush, that is a painful and annoying condition to have for thirteen weeks with no end in sight.

[HollowSquirrel]

LOVE! Love! Love! Looks like a great 1st Christmas for the little bundle of cuteness and her parents!

[Life of a Doctor's Wife]

Hannah is SO CUTE! I'm so glad to hear that you are enjoying each other for more hours of the day.

But the thrush is still around? Oh LORD you poor woman! I hope hope hope you find a solution soon!

[liz]

Wait, what is Matt Damon doing in your famiy Xmas photos? :)

Hooray 3 months!

And also...

DIE THRUSH DIE!

[Angela Noelle]

I'm so sorry for this miserable thrushness that has taken over your life :( I think you should find some computer savvy person that can email a virus to your previous pediatrician so that every time he tries to go on the computer, giant photos of your thrush-filled boobs accost him. But I'm so happy to hear that you're really enjoying Hannah and that she's turning into such an awesome little person. She surely is adorable!

[-R-]

Man, she is cute.

Are these the first photos of Joel? I feel like I have never seen Joel before! Hi, Joel!

[heidikins]

I still cannot entirely wrap my mind around the idea of thrush, what it does to you, how it is treated, etc. And frankly, I hope that the damn pediatrician who said it wasn't any big deal gets it himself. Yes, moldy gashes on his Ph.D'd man boobs. That is my New Year's wish.

Thrush aside, I am so glad you had a lovely Christmas. That second pic of Hannah is one of the best things I've seen on the internet all year. Yes, the year is young, but even so, the statement stands.

xox

[Home Remedy For Yeast Infection]

Thrush or yeast infection is something you just cannot ignore. It will definitely ruin your life and makes it mesirable. But there are plenty of cures out there that don't involved otc drugs that are very effective. In fact, there is one holistic method that can give instant relief from the symptoms within 12 hours.

And by the way, what a wonderful child. She is such a bundle of joy.

[Lady Susan]

Parenthood is so exhausting. I thought I knew what to expect.....but I didn't. I still obsess about my child's (21 months) sleep. So sorry about the thrush. Oi.