Operation Pink Herring

April showers bring May outfits

1. even though M:PT is over..., 2. DSCN1161, 3. Shoes, 4. RA, put together, 5. casual day outfit, 6. Random Dress1, 7. My favorite shoes, 8. dress, 9. Monday, just before I got majorly rained on, 10. M:PT - May 11, 11. M: PT (Tuesday, May 13), 12. M:PT 5.13.08, 13. what better place to take a picture than my cube?, 14. M: PT (Wednesday, May 14), 15. Wednesday outfit, 16. M:PT - May 15, 17. copying sassy laurel with the faux sweater vest, 18. M:PT - May 15 (Zeister), 19. M: PT (Tuesday, May 20), 20. M: PT (Sunday, May 18)

With the end of May this weekend came the official end to Mission: Put Together.  RA has a fabulous postup with all kind of crazy statistics.  Like, M:PT received over 34,000 page views and over 2,800 comments during the month of May.  That sort of blows my mind.  Uno, dos, tres, triente-quatro mil?  I can't count to 34,000 in spanish, but I know that's a whole lot of frackin' page views.  So I guess you guys had as much fun with this as we did, huh?

(Yeah, I said "frackin'".  Deal with it.)

(LEE ADAMA FOR PRESIDENT!)

I had so much fun with this little self-assigned Mission, and I'm just going to come out and say it: Mission: Put Together made my life better.  I loved seeing the outfits that other people put together, and knowing that I'd have the photo pool to show off my creations made me more motivated to put thought into my own wardrobe choices.  M:PT actually made getting ready for work sort of... fun. 

I loved how everyone got into it, and I loved that everyone in the pool was so nice to each other.  

I also loved how we were able to identify trends that made us feel more put together, and then I actually took some of those trends (wear red shoes to spice up a "blah" outfit, don't fear the color yellow, mixing bright colors looks great, as long as you don't overdo it) and actually used them with my existing wardrobe, and ya'll: it felt like a new outfit.   Except it was free. 

The mosaic above represents some of my favorite outfits from the month-long pool.  If you notice that most of the pictures are of Ms. NPW, that's because I think all of her outfits are absolutely adorable.  I even tried to imitate her cute t-shirt/jean jacket/corduroy skirtcombo this weekend, but I was foiled by the mega-heat (and lack of car air conditioning, don't forget that I live in the stone age and my car doesn't have AC.  Or power windows.) and had to leave my jean jacket at home. 

Overall, this whole experiment in fashion has left me amazed.  I'm blown away by how awesome ya'll look (did I just say "ya'll" twice in the same entry?  FRACK!), and by how many of you initially doubted your own fashion sense.   I was also amazed to see that people trying new things as a result of M:PT - many of you went out and bought red necklaces (myself included), some of you went out and found yellow shirts, some of you ventured into pairing orange and turquoise together, and some of you added color to your mostly-black wardrobes.  And you all looked awesome, if I do say so myself.  I was more than willing to hop on the Try Something New bandwagon.  In fact, I'm wearing red shoes with an all-gray outfit right now.

My favorite outfit of my own was my shell-turned-sweater vest.  I can absolutely say that I never would have imagined this outfit, much less actually worn it out of the house without seeing some of the sassy and put-together photos in the M:PT group, but I LOVED the way it looked.  I felt so confident that day that i dared to wear my trouser jeans to the office on a non-Casual Day.  On a Wednesday, even!  

And best of all - these were all items that I already owned.  I hadn't worn that shell in over a year, and I hardly ever find an occasion to wear that pink necklace. 

And that's what Mission: Put Together was really all about. 

RA and I had so much fun with this, and many of you have requested that we extend M:PT past May... so, the photo pool will remain open for the summer.  May it continue to make the world a better place!  I know that I personally will not be posting to it as often (it's hot, peoples.  I cannot wear matching clothes when it's this hot) (I realize that doesn't actually make any sense). We're cooking up a second full-on round of M:PT sometime in the fall, so stay tuned!  Same bat time, same bat channel.

And now, back to our show!

Welcome to this installment of OPH's Next Top Shoe!^tm! 

It's been approximately seventeen weeks since our last episode because our Panel of Expert Judges have been very busy doing important things.  Things like watching an unholy amount of television, including every episode of LOST that's aired since March 21st, when our Panel of Expert Judges forgot to Tivo the episode "Meet Kevin Johnson".  Also, maybe you noticed that there were several Law and Order marathons on this weekend?  That shit does't watch itself, people.

On our last episode, twelve hopefuls competed for the position of OPH's Next Top Shoe!^tm

Four pairs of pumps were sent home when they failed to complete the week's challenge...

Three pairs were granted immunity for their combination of performance, value, and comfort....

And four pairs' fates were left hanging in the balance....

 

Will the beautiful red slingbacks make the cut, solely based on their aesthetic value?  Which pair of black pumps will make it to the next round, and which will be returned?  Do the blue shoes go with the new  blue dress?  FIND OUT, ON TONIGHT'S EPISODE OF OPH's Next Top Shoe!^tm, brought to you by our sponsor, Mission: Put Together - the fastest growing, most popular photo pool on the internet! 

As you surely remember, we had three pairs of similar black pumps to choose between: One pair of pointy-toed Nine Wests, one pair of pointy-toed Bandolinos, and one pair of round-toed Chinese Laundrys.  Our audience voted; 12% voted to keep the Nine Wests, 24% voted in favor of the Bandolinos, 28% voted to return them all, and a plurality of 36% voted to keep the Chinese Laundry pumps. 

Nine Wests and Bandolinos, please step forward.  You are both lovely and graceful pairs of shoes, and I know that you will have a stellar career in front of you.  However, our Panel of Expert Judges agrees with the audience: you just don't have what it takes to be OPH's Next Top Shoe!^tm Please pack your things and leave the house immediately.  

Chinese Laundry pumps, please step forward.  The audience voted that you should be kept, and our Panel of Expert Judges agreed.  However, you were a half size too large, and when we went online to order the correct size, you weren't available.  There is no room for such diva-like behavior in the world of OPH's Next Top Shoe!^tm  I'm sorry, but you will have to be returned.  I hope you've learned a lesson from this experience and that you've grown as a person from being a part of this competition.

Let's move on to the next category: The beautiful red slingbacks. 

The audience was torn: 50% thought you should be kept, and that you'd surely find a way to work through any discomfort.  10% voted to keep you, even if you'd just sit in the closet.  40% voted to send your less than practical heels packing, and in a fit of unrelated back pain that made our Panel of Expert Judges feel like an 80 year old lady, our Panel of Expert Judges agreed with that 40%.  You need more than looks to make it in this world, sweetheart.   I hope you find a happy home somewhere, but you will not be OPH's Next Top Shoe!^tm

 

And lastly, we have the pair of blue flats.  These were purchased with the express purpose of going with a new dress, but upon further inspection, our Panel of Expert Judges weren't sure if you could do the job.   50% of the audience voted that you should be returned, and another 10% felt that you didn't go with the dress at all, but that you should be kept anyway.  40% of our audience said that you did, indeed live up to the challenge of complementing the new dress.

Our Panel of Expert Judges decided to ignore the whopping 60% of voters who agreed that the shoes did not go with the dress.  If any of you happen to come across our Panel of Expert Judges wearing this dress-shoe combo together, we ask that you keep your opinion to yourself and just pretend that our Panel of Expert Judges look awesome.   The blue shoes are staying . In fact, our Panel of Expert Judges may just be wearing them right now.  And they are adorable.  So there.  

And so, we have taken the twelve bestest Top Shoes in the nation and narrowed them down to four lucky winners who will now share the title of OPH's Next Top Shoe!^tm

You will all win a spot in OPH's closet, and a dubious modeling contract endorsed by Miz Tyra Banks!  Congratulations!   Our Panel of Expert Judges are so proud of how you've all grown as individuals and stepped up to meet each challenge, even when you didn't k now you had the strength inside of you.  You are all amazing, talented, gorgeous, FIERCE ladies.  Mwah! 

*******************************************************************************

Just in case any of you were concerned for my mental health after seeing that I did, indeed, purchase TWELVE PAIRS OF SHOES in the space of a week, let me assure you that I don't have a shoe problem. 

I present to you, my freezer:

Oh, there's more:

So, rest assured: it's not a shoe problem, it's more of an inability to pass up anything that is on sale. 

You won't be laughing so hard when there is a bird flu quarantine.  We are SO ready, bitches.

My compulsive shoe buying habits. Let me show you them.

How many shoes can you buy in one weekend before you officially have to check yourself into some sort of retail rehab?

 

Um... yeah.  Less than this, I assume?

It all started when Anna posted a picture of these shoes as part of Mission: Put Together.  I saw those shoes, and I fell in love.  I wanted them.  I had to have them.  Nevermind the fact that I can't walk in heels, heels hurt my back, heels are not my friend.  None of that mattered.  I had to have those shoes.  I spent several hours scouring the internet for that exact model (with quite a bit of help from my proxy shopper, RA) and we finally found them.  And wow, that sure was some heel.  Three and three quarters inches, to be exact.   Several more hours were spent searching the web for an identical pair with a slightly lower heel, to no avail.  I resolved to think about it over the weekend before clicking the "submit order" button that would send them straight to my door.

Then I went shopping with my mom over the weekend and I found these in Ann Taylor Loft.  Last pair.  My size.  Twenty bucks.  I took it as a sign.  I mean, what's not to love:

 

At our next shopping stop, I found a killer pair of red peeptoe pumps on sale at Ann Taylor, but they didn't have my size in New Jersey.  Instead, the lovely sales associates put a pair on hold for me in Maryland and I picked them up when I got home.  Along with a cute pair of brown pumps I found on sale at the MD store.  That's three pairs of pumps, for those of you keeping track.  And I also bought a pair of flip flops.  That brings our total to four.

I wore my new black pumps on Monday.  It was a disaster.  The heel!  What was I thinking?  Also, I cannot walk in pumps without stepping out of them and subsequently tripping.  A lot.  I had sort of forgotten about that. 

After a full day of tripping around the office I'd had a major dose of reality.  As  much as I would love to be one of those girls who wears fantastically high heels around the office, I am not.  My back is still reminding me of that fact today, three days later.  Sigh.  And they were such a bargain.

And so, after this little Monday reality check, Tuesday became one long search for The Perfect Black Pump.  Together, RA and I searched Zappos, Piper Lime and Endless, as well as the brand websites for Nine West and Bandolino, two of our favorite go-to shoe manufactures.  We found several options.  And because Endless offers free overnight shipping, I ordered them all.  Plus a few non-black pumps too. 

So that was another five pairs + my four pairs from the weekend = Nine new pairs of shoes.

Oh, and I also ordered two pairs of flats last week, too.  So that makes, what?  Eleven?  Oh wait, I also ordered my beloved red pumps in black the minute they went on sale at AnnTaylor.com, just to keep all my options open.  Since they hadn't yet arrived at the time of this photo-shoot, my trusty Teva flip-flops agreed to serve as a placeholder.

That's nine pairs of pumps, two pairs of flats, one pair of flip flops and a partridge in a fucking pear tree. Annotated version is on flickr, and I suggest you take a look, study it, and maybe make some flashcards because this shit is about to get complicated.

After much thought (too much thought for a topic not involving world peace or hungry orphans, but too late now!), I have determined the that the following contestants will not be moving forward to the next round of OPH's Next Top Shoe:

Ridiculously, fantastically high-heeled Ann Taylor Loft pumps. You are a really beautiful pair of shoes, and I love that you only cost $20.  But in this harsh world, being pretty isn't enough.  You also have to not cause bodily harm to the wearer.  I'm sorry, but you will not be OPH's Next Top Shoe. Please take your receipt, get into your box, and wait to be returned this weekend.

Brown Ann Taylor pumps.  You have so much going for you.  You've got a great look, your heel is a much more sensible height, and you were a veritable bargain, marked down from $128 to $49.99, with an extra 20% discount thrown in.  But you're a half size too big, and there were no more pairs left at the store to even think about exchanging you for.  And I already have a pair of slightly too-big brown heels that work really well.  I'm sorry, but you just don't have what it takes to be OPH's Next Top Shoe.   Please take your receipt, get into your box, and wait to be returned this weekend.

Red and silver Chinese Laundry pumps. You are both cute, but you just don't have that look that makes a shoe rise above all the other cute shoes in the world.  You both photograph well, but in person you just don't live up to your image.  I'm sorry, but you will not be OPH's Next Top Shoe.  Please take this return shipping label and prepare to be sent back to Endless.com headquarters.

The following contestants now remain in the running for OPH's Next Top Shoe:

Teva flip flops, please step to the side.  The black Ann Taylor peeptoe slingbacks that you graciously agreed to stand in for are something I desperately need.  Even though your heel is a bit high, you are most definitely walkable on top of being downright gorgeous.  Congratulations, you will be joining the other shoes in the closet.  You will NOT be returned. 

Red Ann Taylor flats, please step to the side.  You are adorable, you were on sale, you are comfortable, and you will be an excellent replacement for those horrid Steve Madden flats that have been destroying my feet for the past eight months. You're everything a shoe should be. Congratulations, you will NOT be returned.

And lastly, blue Ann Taylor flip flops, please step to the side.  A good pair of flip-flops are a no-brainer, and you were on sale for $12 and go perfectly with a new dress I just bought (more on that in a minute!).  Congratulations, you will NOT be returned. 

I now have five pairs of beautiful shoes before me.  Unfortunately, I am not sure that you all have what it takes to become a permanent fixture in my closet.   Let's start with the middle row.

Red Ann Taylor peeptoe slingbacks:  You are a work of art.  You're actually walkable (the slingback seems to be better for me than the pump), but you still have a three inch heel.  I'm just not sure that there's room for two pairs of patent leather peeptoe slingbacks in my closet, and we have to face the fact that your beauty can work against you - red doesn't go with everything.  But you really do have a great look, and you are still in the running for OPH's Next Top Shoe.  The audience will decide if you have what it takes to be one of OPH's Next Top Shoes.

Dear audience, please vote now using the poll box below.  Should these beautiful shoes remain in my collection, or are they a ridiculous indulgence?  They set me back $52 (originally priced $118).

Opinion Polls & Market Research

On to the blue flats.  You're a nice pair of shoes, for sure.  But you were purchased with a specific purpose: to go with a new blue dress.  I'll be honest with you, I'm just not sure you go with the dress at all. 

The audience will decide your future. These shoes were originally priced at $98 (I think), I paid $40.

Opinion Polls & Market Research

(I won't ask you to vote on whether or not I should keep Madison because he ate his receipt long ago.  And then threw it up in a basket of clean laundry.)

Let's move on to the third row of contestants. 

I have before me three pairs of black pumps.  I was convinced that I desperately needed a pair of black pumps, but now I'm just not sure. 

Nine West pumps: Your heel is 1/4 higher than the Bandolinos, and you cost $79. 

Bandolino pumps: You cost $69 and have a lower heel, but you're slightly pointier -- and I don't think I like that about you.  To tell you the truth, I don't love either of you.  You just haven't shown me that you have what it takes to be OPH's Next Top Shoe.  I just don't think that you want this badly enough.  Do you?  Do you really WANT THIS? I'll be straight with you, honey:  I'm afraid you're just not "me". 

Chinese Laundry black pumps:  You guys have it going on.  You're much more my style, and I love that you were on sale for $48.  The one problem I have with you is the wooden heel.  It looks cute -- but I'm afraid that it makes you unfancy enough to void the whole purpose of having a pair of black pumps.  You'd be fun under jeans, but I'm not sure if you'd ever beat out my beloved Privos.  I just don't know if you want this badly enough.  I don't think you really, really WANT to be OPH's Next Top Shoe. Do you?

All three pairs of pumps have some great qualities, but only one of you (at most) can become OPH's Next Top Shoe: Black Pump Edition.

Tune in next week to find out who got returned and who made the final cut to become OPH's Next Top Shoe! 

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Edited to add: Today marks the halfway point of Mission: Put Together!  RA has crunched some fantastic numbers in honor of this midpoint - go over and check her post out.  I meant to do a mid-month M:PT recap, but I didn't get around to it.  As you can see, I've been a little busy.

Casual Day, my one true love (sorry, Joel!)

From time to time, my office has Casual Day.  Casual Day used to be every Friday between Memorial Day and Labor Day.  Then it changed to being on random Fridays throughout the year.  Now it's no longer on Fridays exclusively.  Any day of the week can be Casual Day.  Today is Casual Day, for instance.  Last Monday was Casual Day.  Some months, there is a Casual Day every week.  Some months, there are no Casual Days.  If there is a method behind the Casual Day schedule, I have yet to discover it.  And trust me, I've spent a lot of time analyzing this. 

I LOVE Casual Day.  In fact, I don't think that ALL CAPS LOVE is a strong enough term.  I live for Casual Day?  Casual Day is the center of my life?  I want to marry Casual Day and have lots of Casual Babies with it?  Yes, I think that adequately sums up my feelings about Casual Day.  I just feel more comfortable in jeans than I do in biznass pants.  I honestly feel like I do my job better when it's Casual Day.  I am a better, happier person on Casual Day.

RA and I have had many a GChat discussion about my love for Casual Day, and our sadness that jeans are so discriminated against in the workplace.  We both think that a nice pair of jeans paired with a cute top and decent shoes looks better than the polyester jogging suits that half of my office wears on a daily basis.  But polyester jogging suits fit within our dress code, just because they're not jeans.   And so, most days, I must suffer through the working hours in pants I bought at Target while my Seven for All Mankind Jeans sit at home in the drawer, wondering why I don't love them.  It's a cruel, cruel world.

But, such is life.  And refusing to brush my hair or wear matching clothes in protest on non-Casual Days really isn't hurting anyone but me.  I want to look like a responsible, attractive adult.  But I don't want to spend a lot of money on clothes that I'm only going to wear 9-5, Monday-Friday.  What to do?

Well, RA and I got to talking (cue Sex and the City theme song).  I always take note of people whose style I admire.  We've determined that it's not necessarily expensive or designer clothes that make a look work, but how all the pieces form a polished, cohesive unit.  The people I admire in the grocery store or in the elevator don't look like they rolled out of bed four minutes before they need to leave the house, threw on a shirt from the clean laundry basket their ferret-cat had been using as a bed, paired it with a pair of wrinkled khakis from the floor, and rushed out of the house.  Ahem.  They look like they spent a few minutes picking out a basic outfit, and then adding accessories and shoes that really pulled it all together.

I want to be more like these people.  I want to look half-decent, at least most of the time.  I'm not looking for a complete wardrobe overhaul or a visit from the What Not To Wear crew.  I just want to put a little bit more effort into my appearance.  And I want someone to give me credit for trying, damnit.

And that's where the Mission: Put Together photo pool that RA and I have created comes in(translation: RA did all the work, I provided encouragement via GChat).  For the month of May, we will be posting our efforts at creating put-together, cohesive looks for the world to see.

I know what you're thinking!  But what about me?  Can I play too?

Yes!  Please join our group and post your own photos! (Translation: DON'T LEAVE US HANGIN', INTERWEB FRIENDS)! 

But how do I know if my outfit is good enough to post?   

Mission: Put Together is for any outfit you are proud of.  It doesn't have to be a new outfit, an expensive outfit, or an outfit you've never worn before.  You just have to think you rocked it.

But what if I look put-together and fabulous every day?

Then I hate you.  That's great!  Post a picture every day and teach us all your secrets!

What if I can hardly muster the energy to change out of my pajamas most days?

Post a picture whenever you feel inspired.  I am going to aim for two post-worthy outfits a week during May. 

What if I wear the same three pairs of pants every week?  Are you all going to laugh at me?

Welcome to my world, my friend.   I will DEFINITELY  be repeating items.  I often wear the same pants two days in a row.  Or three days in a row.  I tell myself no notices.

But I work from home/my office has a casual dress code!  I wear jeans and flip flops every day!

Mission: Put Together is an equal opportunity Flickr Group.  We do not practice jeans discrimination.  In fact, we love jeans.  And also, I want your job.  Please send me an application.

What if I have a crappy camera?  Or I have a nice camera that I don't know how to operate?  WHAT THEN, I ASK?

Dude, we don't care.  I plan on taking pictures with my cell phone half the time.  And it's not even a fancy iPhone.

What if I don't have a Flickr account? 

Just email your picture to me or RA and we will post it for you.

But what if I don't even have my own blog?

That's fine!  Just email one of us your pictures and we'll post them in the group for you.

OK, I'll send that over as soon as I clean up the laundry piles in the background.  And paint the walls.  And buy new furniture.  And lose 10 pounds.

Don't stress about any of that stuff.  This is just for fun.  And I can promise you that my laundry pile is bigger than yours.

Oh, no!  I couldn't possibly let anyone see this horrific laundry pile.

OK, then I suggest that you just stand squarely in front of your giant laundry pile when you take the picture, thereby blocking it from the interwebs view. Like this, for example:

Um, why are you holding your shoes up like that?

Because I don't have a full-length, mirror.  I KNOW!  The horror!

OK.  This sounds like fun!  I can't wait to pick out my outfit for tomorrow and wow the whole office with my great look!

See, now that's the idea!

Can we stop pretending that this is an actual conversation between two people and just end this entry now?

Oh, fine.  Party pooper.

My new shoes. Let me show you them.

I've got a bunch of half-written posts about real stuff, like my love-hate relationship with our house, my hate-hate relationship with painting and ladders, that 2007 Books post I've promising since, oh, December, and all the fun things I've been keeping myself busy with to preemptively stamp out any bachelorette-induced loneliness.   Every morning I resolve to finish them.  And then I get distracted by things like watching It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia clips on YouTube and whoops, it's 1am and I haven't showered all day.  Or eaten dinner. 

Today, my distraction of choice is this:

I tried on a pair of Privos at Filene's basement this weekend and I almost bought them because they were without a doubt the most comfortable shoes I've ever put on my feet (and I'm including my beloved Asics Gel Kayanos in that statement).  It was like a thousand little angels were massaging my heels and arches with every step and after a few laps up and down the shoe aisle I died and went to heaven.  The End.

But then I talked myself out of buying them for the following reasons: 1. The one pair in the store, which was a different model than those pictured above, were sort of ugly.  There was some sort of meshy screen-like material involved and it was not attractive. 2. They were too big for me. 3. I had just purchased three new pairs of shoes the day before, and 4. I'd never heard of Privos and I was afraid that they were actually an old lady brand of shoes and I just didn't realize it because I AM an old lady.  So I didn't buy them, I went home and promptly forgot about it.

Then this morning I got an email from Endless.com advertising all sorts of magical things like free shipping and millions of styles and world peace and I thought to myself, I wonder if they have any of those Privo shoes?   And lo, they did.  Some were kind of ugly, but some were cute.   Very cute.  And comfy looking.

But still, I feared that Privo was some sort of secret Old Lady Brand.  What to do?  Who to consult?  Hmmm... I seemed to remember a certain blogger's recent quest for the perfect comfy, yet fashionable shoes to wear on her Italian honeymoon, and since and she's and young and hip and a dedicated shoe maven. 

And guess what?  Angela picked the same shoes I did!  And she did an incredible amount of research to find the perfect honeymoon shoes, so I stopped thinking about it and just hit "order" (in two sizes, thanks free shipping and free returns!).  They'll be here tomorrow and then I'll no longer have to embarrass myself by walking to and from the office in my work clothes and sneakers.   

And now I've moved on to wondering if I can't find a way to justify also buying these:  

The End.