Things, now with pictures!

So you guys want to know why I didn't request direct deposit on my tax return, huh?  Well, here's why: I DID. 

I requested direct deposit on both my state and federal returns last year, and viola!  My money showed up in my bank accounts like magic.   Unfortunately, it appears that I have gotten significantly stupider since last year's tax time.  Either that, or I just really suck at forms.  And adding.

I always do both the 1040 and 1040EZ form, for two reasons.  First, it checks my math.  Second, it ensures that I'm getting the biggest refund I can.  I'm always afraid that by filling out the 1040, I'm just creating extra work for myself  AND screwing myself out of precious refund dollars.  So far, that hasn't been the case, but you can never be too sure when it comes to making sure you squeeze every last dollar out of the government.

This year my 1040 and 1040EZ didn't match.  So I did them both again and got two different sets of numbers that still didn't match.  And so on and so forth.  After about a week of doing this on my lunch break, I was about ready to just give up and go to a certified tax professional.   But of course I didn't, because that would be giving up.

Finally, I got my return pretty much right.  I did notice one teensy mistake (transcription error when I copied the form over for the billionth time), but it only changed my overall return by $6, so I decided to say screw it and just let the government keep my $6. 

(You  know I'm pissed when I'm letting the government keep MY HARDEARNED MONEY.  But at that point, I honestly would have paid someone to just get those forms out of my face).

I mailed my forms and breathed a heavy sigh of relief.  The next day, I used my (incorrect) numbers to do my state return and mailed that too.

A few weeks later, I got a big fat envelope in the mail from the IRS.  Cue a panic attack, since the only reason I could think that the IRS would be sending me any envelope at all was to inform me of an audit.  Taxes are not like college admissions.  Fat envelopes from the IRS are not happy signs.

(Not that I would know, but seems like that would be true, right?)

Inside the fat envelope was my entire tax return, with all the extraneous documentation I'd attached.  Printouts with interest income from my ING savings account?  Check.  Copy of my mortgage interest form? Check.  I attached about 7 unnecessary sheets because I just wasn't sure what they needed and what they didn't.  And then they all came back to me, along with a little note from the IRS that said "You forgot to sign your return, dumbass."

Whoops.  I signed it and mailed the whole thing back.

The next week, I got a letter from the state revenue department.  Oh, shit, I thought.  Now I'm getting audited.

But no, it was a check.  Along with a little note from the state saying "You wrote down your bank info wrong, dumbass".

So now you know why is my check being mailed on May 11th, rather than being directly deposited.  It's because I am an idiot.

Now let's look at some pictures.   

Upon further inspection of Monday's work, it does sort of look like a whale.

Here's a picture of the whole wall so far.  Someone HALP!  So much empty space!  Must finish at some point this decade!

Look at our new and improved scratching post.  Joel made the new base and I wrapped the sisal rope all by myself.  So far, cats are not interested.  ASSHOLES.

How awesome would this look if there were some nice matching shelves bridging the two bookcases?  Pretty awesome, right?  DO YOU HEAR THAT, IKEA?  MAKE SOME DAMN JARPEN SHELVES NOW.

Here is Henry's beloved duck.

And just because I am a big nerd and a Crazy Cat Lady, here is a video especially for you, internet.  If you turn your volume up, you can hear the duck quacking at the very beginning.  I promise, it's not one of those scary videos that says "Turn up your volume and pay close attention" and then has a huge noise and a scary face jump out.   Um, and sorry about the poor lighting.  Joel doesn't let us turn the lights on; that's what windows and streetlights are for.

Let me know if the stupid video even works, I can't get it to play on my computer.  But then again, I'm not very smart.

AFLAC!

Comments

[janet]

I can't see a video, but can I just say I hate you because you live in (what looks like) a real, adult house with real, adult furniture? I want!

[Kirsten Aerts]

i saw the video!!
does your cat thing she/he's a dog??? are you playing fetch with you cat?? My dog wont even do that!! well- she'll chase most of the time, but she'll never give the darn toy back! so one throw and its over!
let me see if i can't get anything accomplished with my new inside source at IKEA. but she's at her brother's wedding right now..

[heidikins]

classic! Both on the IRS incident(s) and the cat.

Love the furniture!
xox

[Laurel]

You are such a grownup--your house looks fabulous!

Also, I had no idea that the IRS used the word "dumbass." They are scary beyotches over there in the government!

[Isabel]

OH MY GOSH KEN'S MOM JUST GOT THE SAME IKEA CABINET AND HAD THE SAME ISSUES. But (and don't be mad) she was able to get the missing shelf. Maybe from Canada? I don't recall. Best of luck to you.

And also, who's the bigger nerd here? You for writing a post about your taxes or me for LOVING SAID POST? (I forgot to do the same thing with my taxes back when I was much younger.) Rock on.

Love the pictures.

More please.

[motherofbun]

Ohhh lots of cool pics. YOu just crack me up!

ANd love the mosaic project you're working on.

[Rachel]

I couldn't help but laugh about the tax thing! I used to work at the IRS and I was the one that had to input all the info on the tax forms into their software. People send some kuh-razy things in with their tax returns! Here's to not getting audited, though!