Hotel Room Dispatch with Excessive Use of the Word "Awesome"

My flight this afternoon was on one of those awesome 50-person puddle jumpers.  And by "awesome", you know I mean "puketastic", right?   Everyone with a briefcase-sized or larger suitcase dutifully gate-checked their bags and boarded the plane, Air Force One style. 

There must have been something in the air today, or maybe the sweat through your clothes weather just had everyone on edge, but the passengers on this flight were CRANKY with a capital "bitch".  First, the woman next to me freaked out about some condensation on the air vents inside the plane.  Even after the flight attendant assured her that it was completely normal and everything was fine, she still felt compelled make a stink about it, and then elbow me the entire flight whilst huffily typing Very Important Things on Her Very Important Laptop.  Awesome.

Another passenger became extremely agitated when he learned that there would be no pretzels available to him on this 90-minute journey.  Dude, we had a choice of cheesy cracker sandwich things OR the trademarked Delta biscotti crackers.  That's like a choice between an hour-long foot massage and $100 gift certificate to Ann Taylor Loft.  You just can't go wrong. Forget the damn pretzels and get over yourself.

But Pretzel Lover didn't even come close to the rage exhibited by the guy I saw approach one of the construction workers inside the airport.   "Delta Service Counter", he said to a construction worker in the temporary walkway we were ushered through to get to the main terminal.   First of all, I love it when people who are pissed off can't even be bothered to form their words into a question.  "Where is the Delta Service Counter" would have been far too much trouble for his angry lips to utter.  The construction worker, who was clearly NOT an airline employee (and also clearly did not speak much English), did not know where the Delta Service Counter was, shockingly, but in an effort to be helpful, he asked the man what was wrong. 

"I want to complain about this service!  This is unbelievable!  They just leave your bags lying out on the runway!  They just throw them on the ground!  Anyone could take my bag!"

The precious bag in question?  Pink. Paisley. Garment. Bag.

Awesome.  And even more awesome was the fact that he made such a big deal about the mistreatment of his pink paisley bag that everyone in Logan Airport took notice of his fashion statement.

Comments

[RA]

Ugh. Air travel seems to bring out the worst in people. Have you ever seen that show "Airline"? I can't take it because the passengers are so freaking deluded and/or drunk. Hope you enjoy your visit in Beantown!

[Laurel]

I just hate how mean people are to airline workers. They are SO underpaid. I feel that way about everyone in the service industry, actually.

Like, you'd never huffily say "DELTA SERVICE COUNTER" to your boss, your lawyer or your doctor, right? Show some respect.

[elise]

Oh, that was so right on, about the huffy, cocky business person who can't even manage to form an entire sentence. I hate that so much, but encounter it quite often. Do you ever wonder what these rude people were like as kids? I do, all the time.

[Lindsey]

I'm so sorry you had to be on the bitch flight. Seriously though, that dude with the paisley bag should have thought twice.