Just in time for Black Friday

It's that time of the year again.  The time when the whole world goes insane.

I don't do holiday shopping.  I can't.  I can shop with the best of them when I'm in the mood.  I can spend hours perusing the grocery store!  And don't even get me started on the time warp that is Home Depot.  Or Petco.   I can kill an afternoon looking at the different types of cat food.  But going near a mall any time after October 31st is just not in the cards for me.

I hate crowds.  I hate crazed shoppers.  And I hate what the holiday season does to people.

Case in point:  Yesterday I decided that my task for the day would be to leave the house, ending my weekend-long quarantine.  I dropped Joel off at his gym and set out to hit the Home Depot and Barnes and Noble.   Home Depot was bursting at the seams with holiday spirit, but since I got what I needed (six Alberta spruces, two sets of lights and a partridge in a pear tree and a refill canister of propane) with absolutely no hassle -- not even from the automatic propane cage system! -- I have no complaint to register with the home improvement overlords.  Barnes and Noble, however, has apparently been hit early by the spirit of Christmas Stress.

I had a 20% off coupon and I was really only looking for one book.  The last time I used a single item coupon, they were kind (or absent-minded) enough to apply the discount to my entire purchase, so I figured why not try my luck again?  I'll just pick up a few more books I've been meaning to read, and if they don't give me 20% off, well then shucks.  I guess I'll just have two more books to read. 

The line to checkout was long and slow-moving.  People were irritated.  Eye-rolling, sighing, making friends with strangers in the line to complain about how ridiculous this is, you'd think with it being the holidays they'd hire some more help, goodness, don't they know anything about retail? 

Then another woman stormed over and marched right up to the counter.  Before anyone could politely remind her that THERE'S A LINE HERE LADY, DON'T BE TRYIN' TO CUT (trust me, they were all thinking it) she yelled at the cashier "IF NO ONE IS GOING TO ANSWER THAT PHONE, JUST PICK IT UP AND HANG IT UP FOR CHRISTSAKE!  ITS DRIVING EVERYONE IN THE STORE CRAZY"

And everyone looked at each other and said "Wha??"  And then, listening very closely, we could hear it.  There was a phone ringing, gently.  Almost inaudibly.  And I guess that is all it takes to make people snap around this time of year.   When the irate woman came over to stand in the line, she loudly grumbled about how she was going to report them [to the phone police?] because these people need to change a few things around here and the first is ATTITUDE.

People, it is not even Thanksgiving.  It is too early for this level of stress to exist.

This is why I don't holiday shop.  I just don't see the point.  (And thankfully, my family and friends agree -- or at least pretend to agree to indulge me).  Everyone gets stressed out running around spending money, trying to find the perfect gift for everyone they know.  I enjoy giving gifts as much as the next person, but I HATE being pressured to find a gift for everyone at the same time.  When everyone else in the world is also out shopping.  And in grumpy moods. 

Back in high school, my friends and I decided to declare a gift-giving truce one year, and in lieu of presents we'd go into New York one day in December and go out for dinner.  It morphed into a yearly tradition that lasted through college, and it was so much fun every year.  Sadly, the tradition is now dead since several parents have moved and many of us don't come back to New Jersey for Christmas, but still.  It was FAR better than exchanging picture frames and Body Shop gift baskets.  My brothers and I soon subscribed to the same gift moratorium philosophy with each other.  And then we extended it to birthdays, because really?  Do I want my little brother stressing over what to get me for my twenty-seventh birthday?  (The answer is no, I don't.)  Instead, we decided that a card and a phone call are more than sufficient sibling gifts.   Joel and I don't do Christmas gifts for each other, either.  We do usually do birthday gifts, and since his birthday is the first week of December and mine is the first week of January, THAT IS PLENTY.  I don't need to be coming up with TWO gifts for him in one month.  There are only so many DVD box sets in the world.

And that leaves the office.  My office is officially out of control with Ye Ole Holiday Spirit.  So I had to go ahead and opt out of that nonsense too. 

So my holiday shopping list is 1. Mom, 2. Daddy.  My mom will give us several ideas as to what she would like (mom?  ideas?), as she does every year, and my brothers will buy a round of golf for my dad and that will be that.  Done. 

Honestly, I don't know how people handle the holidays any other way.  I love gift-giving.  I love seeing something that I know someone would love and buying it for them.  Holiday shopping ruins that for me, because I feel like I either need to save it until Christmas (that's no fun, I'm impatient!) or not get it because I'll just have to get them a Christmas gift too (I'm not made of money!).   Just thinking about it stresses me out.  And because of this, I've been labeled as The Holiday Grinch around the office. 

And you know what?  Me and my six Alberta Spruces are OK with that.

Comments

[Laurel]

You front door looks completely ungrinchy.

My holiday gift giving is totally manageable. I have oodles of ideas for AS. My mom and dad are pretty easy (if all else fails, a "New York-y" accessory will thrill my mom and my dad always needs running gear). My sister is the same age as me, so she's pretty easy to buy for, although the fact that she's currently living in Namibia is a little challenging. That's it.

I am so glad I don't have the type of family where I'm buying for aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.

None of my friends and I exchange personal gifts. I'll do a little generic gift for a few close friends. Then I just have to get a gift card for my assistant and I'm all set!

[Lisa]

I can't believe the holiday crazy has started! I rather love shopping for presents, but I also hate the crowds. I was at the mall last weekend- no decorations YET.

[Erika]

I agree with everything. Last year I convinced all of J's siblings to eschew the gift giving (grandchildren excluded, of course!!) since all we ever did was exchange $20 gift cards. We all throw in on one gift for his parents. I try to get something for my folks but it's nothing big...they buy whatever they want when they want it anyway. My friends and I try to get together. J and I don't exchange gifts and have even banned cards (we each write a letter on our anniversary instead). Parenting sites suggest gifting "experiences" (vacation, a class, camp) instead of items, which is a great idea, but you better believe I'm looking forward to Santa's visit this year for E!

[Lara]

Too funny. It's weird - I LOVE gift-buying, and generally don't stress about the holidays at all. This year, though, I have no clue what I am getting anyone, which makes for a different experience altogether. Hrm. I love the alberta spruces!

[alyndabear]

I am with you girl. HATE shoppping....... with a passion!

[Isabel]

I feel myself becoming more and more disillusioned with Christmas every year. I hate buying a gift BECAUSE I HAVE TO. I'd much rather buy one because I love the person and "wow, isn't this perfect for them?!"

We draw names. It's easy. And I buy Ken everything he asks for and vice versa. Oh, and we don't bother getting the kid anything. What's the point?

Merry Christmas!

[janet]

It's official - you need to come decorate and fix up my house. Please and thank you.

[angela]

Oh man, I would never hit the stores on Black Friday. Yuck.

Instead, we spent yesterday working in our yard. All day long. We actually sort of forgot it was Black Friday and went to Home Depot to buy woodchips, which was kind of a mistake but we survived. Enough shopping for us.