Here she goes with the cats again

Hey, so remember how I have this cat name Madison? You know, the cat with a girl's name even though he is a boy (and again, I'd like to remind everyone that I DID NOT NAME HIM, I just sorta forgot to ever get around to changing it) and who occasionally tries to rip my face off? Yeah, him. When we last left our intrepid hero, Madison was sulking in the corner with a faceful of yellow goop. I left that goop on his face, thinking that, being a cat, Mads would use the lick paw, wipe paw over face, lick paw again, repeat ad nauseum method of grooming himself. This would solve the problem of goop on his face, while at the same time possibly even get more of the goop into his little mouth. Apparently, the trauma of medicating an ornery cat caused me to forget the simple fact that Madison does not so much groom himself. Instead, the yellow goop dried into a hard yellow mass, giving Madison a spunky little sideways mohawk. I was fine with this.  Rock on!

Madison, however, did not like the punk look. I came home the next night to find bloody clumps of Madison's fur, crusted with yellow goop, on the stairs. He just would not leave that area alone, so I had to resort to cutting it out before he could do further injury to himself. As a result of my fine barbering skills Madison is now missing a giant hunk of fur on the left side of his face along with his right eyebrow. All the yellow goop has been removed... just in time for us to start all over with the second dose of de-wormer next week! Whee!!

Now, being the brilliant person that I am, I queried the vet about perhaps putting Madison on some sort of chewable de-wormer, should such a thing exist. This route worked quite well last year when I resolved to put all three cats on Frontline (different day worm, same shit) and then discovered that Madison was not so much going to allow me to put any stuff on his neck. Oh, hells no. Instead, he bit me and hid under the bed. After I'd already opened the tube. AWESOME. After that incident, I went out on a limb and ordered some "flavor tabs" that were billed as being less effective than topical Frontline, however since none of the Frontline actually made contact with Madison's skin, "less effective" was better than nothing. And wouldn't you know, Madison happily gobbled down that "flavor tab"?  Halle-freakin-lujiah. Make that a double A-men, because it turns out that, indeed, there IS a Santa Claus chewable tablet that is really intended for heartworms, but happens to kill roundworms as well. SIGN ME UP. I picked up a six-month supply for all three cats last night. I am not messing around. These worms, they are going to die.

I got home, looked at the bill for these medicines, and then gave Max a stern lecture about going on a diet, because did you know that his dose actually cost me fifteen extra dollars just because he is so fat? Yes. The diet, it starts tomorrow. Or maybe on January 2nd.

Max sniffed his big boy pill, gave me a suspicious look, and then stood there. With just a little prodding, happily chewed and swallowed.

I placed a normal-sized pill next to where Henry was murdering a toy mouse. He paused, scarfed it down, and returned to his killing.

Good, I thought. They really are "delectably flavored for cats"!

Do I really need to tell you that Madison didn't eat the damn thing? That he bit me, hid under the kitchen counter, and then proceeded to position himself angelically in his cat bed the moment Joel came home?

Oh, and guess who is also due for shots? SEND HALP. AND VODKA.

Comments

[Audrey]

I certainly don't envy you having to medicate cats. Ben recently went to the vet for his bordetella (no idea how to spell that) vaccine -- that's the one they squirt up the nose. And he was Not. Having. It. I couldn't hold him still enough for the vet to get the vaccine in his nose, so an assistant came in and had to get on the floor, back into a corner, and do her best to hold him still. And he still kicked and squirmed all over the place. I think he eventually got SOME vaccine in his nose, but it was a serious struggle. And he was pissed.

[RA]

Oh, my lordy goodness. Clipping Ted's nails seems like a walk in the park compared to this. Not that I want to do that when I get home tonight, but still.

[elise]

Oh, the things we do for these animals!!

[Stephanie]

My damn dog had to get a booster shot for rabies and had his ears swabbed for a possible infection. He knocked the vet to the floor, plowed over a tech and left me with approximately 435 billion hairs all over me. Then they squirted stuff in his ears. After that they decided he needed another booster shot.

He has hated me ever since.

[Laurel]

Maybe you should just have a baby! Children may be easier.

[Operation Pink Herring]

That's an excellent idea, Laurel! I will get right on that.

[alyndabear]

Yipes, you're still medicating? You have my gravest sympathies!

;)