The good, the bad, and the ugly: Monday edition

The Good:  The vet called on Saturday.  I am the proud owner of three parasite-free cats. 

The Bad: Someone has started peeing on the rug in the litterbox room.  I can't be sure since I have yet to catch the offender in the act, but I think it's Max.   In that case, I take back all the nice things I said about being so proud of him and all that bullshit.  WTF, Maxwell?  No, really, WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?

Also, Max and Madison are also both due for their 3-year rabies shots, and I've decided to take them in together.  Time-saver, or official proof that I have gone plum crazy, because OMGWTF ARE YOU THINKING WOMAN?  Only time will tell!  Stay tuned!  And in the meantime, I promise, no more crazy cat lady talk!

The Ugly:  I have somehow managed to sweat through my light, button-down shirt.  It's not even noon.  I only wore a light coat that was completely appropriate for the springtime weather this morning, and I wasn't all red-faced when I got to work.  I'm not a big sweater.  I put on deodorant this morning.  And yet, there they are: two big pit stains (luckily, not overtly visible because this shirt I'm wearing is a light color).   

I think I have my special expensive deodorant to blame for this, but I'm not really sure what to do.  And this is where you come in, interweb peoples, because I need help.  Serious help.  You cannot imagine how much stress I have over Deodorant Issues.

See, all my t-shirts that are even moderately fitted have black/brown pit stains on them.  I don't even buy white shirts any more. I am positive this is not sweat-related because the shirts I wear to the gym and to hot yoga classes have no such stains.  I was at the point of just giving up deodorant altogether last year when I complained about this annoying problem, OMG ALL MY SHIRTS HAVE PIT STAINS, WAHHHH, to my friend, KP, who admitted she had the exact same problem -- until she switched to the Adidas brand deodorant.  Adidas deodorant is aluminum-free, she explained, and it's the aluminum that causes the staining.   I rushed out to the store to buy a case or twelve of Adidas deodorant, and guess what?  Safeway doesn't carry it.  But they do carry Tom's of Maine deodorant, which for the $5-a-stick price tag is also aluminum-free.  It's also  all natural, organic, and cruelty free, which is all good and fine and great, but most importantly: NO ALUMINUM.

Since I've started using my hippie deodorant made from hops and rainbows and unicorn tears, I haven't noticed a single new pit stain.  Not even on the shirts I wear under sweaters, which tend to be tighter and of, ahem, a slightly lower quality than shirts I'd normally wear.  Hooray!  Except that I'm now sweating through my shirts in the middle of winter.  I fear what will happen when the Baltimore Summer rolls around.  I'll probably drown in a puddle of my own sweat before I made it halfway to work.  What am I to do?

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has this many issues with freaking deodorant. And then, tell me how to fix this.  Do you have strong feelings about deodorant?   A favorite?   A magical solution to my problems, preferably one that doesn't include showering more often?   I should mention that I have tried the Dove line, and while I love their "real beauty" ad campaign as much as the next girl, I hate their deodorant and you couldn't pay me to try it again.  (OK, yes you could, but you'd have to make it worth my while because that shit not only stained my shirts like nobody's business, it also STANK after a few hours of normal wear). 

I swear to God, just while I was typing this, I ACTUALLY SWEATED MORE.  My office temperature is normally set to "Polar Ice Cap" and I haven't moved from my chair in over an hour.   WHAT IS GOING ON?   Early menopause?  Global warming?  Severe Case of the Mondays?   I haven't a freaking clue, but I'm pretty sure this is all Max's fault.

Comments

[Erika]

It sounds miserable!! But I was going to suggest Dove. So I guess my suggestion is...black shirts. HAVE YOU GOOGLED THIS CONDITION?

[-R-]

I have only ever found one deodorant that works for me. I used to sweat through my shirts every single day. My magical deodorant is Secret Platinum. My white shirts do get stained after I wear them for a few (three or four maybe?) months though. Maybe pre-treating them or using bleach would help.

[RA]

Oh, dear. I'm sorry, I have no suggestions. I'm more of a head-sweater, what with the black hair and all. In the summer, my forehead and scalp are disgusting, and I emanate hatred to all of the glowy girls who are just flaunting their lack of red cheeks and sweat dripping down their faces. Grr.

[Mary]

Where I work, the humidity is set to 40% on purpose. I can't be cozy in a sweater because I will sweat like I am having a hotflash.

As for deodorant, I have no suggestions. The curse of the pitstain also drives me crazy. I hope you find a solution (and share it with the rest of us)!

[Marriage-101]

I rarely sweat under my arms but I use LadySpeedstick 24/7 I think (purplish/pink dry stick). I don't wear many white shirts as it is because they seem to turn dingy over time regardless of how much bleaching I do - not in the armpits really, but just dingy in general.

[Laurel]

I use Certin-Dri, which is high powered. (Because I AM a sweater.) You use it at night, which takes some getting used to, but it's really worked for me.

I'm not sure if it contains aluminum, but it's definitely on the NON-hippie, chemical-rich side of the spectrum, so it may not solve this particular problem!

[Isabel]

I gave up wearing white shirts years ago. And if a sleeve actually touches my armpit, it's all over.

I use Secret Platinum also and it seems to help. But still, NO white shirts for me.

Good luck.

[Angela]

I really don't believe there's a perfect miracle deodorant out there, but the best one I've ever used is the Mitchum brand--but the stick, NOT the gel. And if the ladies version isn't high powered enough for you, maybe try the men's?

And I've never used these before, but they seem like a pretty ingenious idea for at least your nicer work shirts... http://www.kleinertsshields.com/ It probably wouldn't be very practical for all of your t-shirts though, but definitely worth a try I should think!

[Erin]

The aluminum does cause the stain. However, it's also the aluminum that works as the anti-perspirant. It's a vicious cycle!

[Jessie]

It's because it's a deodorant and not an anti-perspirant. I tried that stuff once too, but had to go back to my regular stuff because I sweat quite a bit at times. I just live with the stains now, because I'd rather have stains than sweat marks.

[Audrey]

Hey, I hear it's your birthday. Happy Birthday!!! I hope it's fabulous!

[Stephanie]

Wait! It's your birthday! HUGS!!!

[Isabel]

DUDE....I am the WORST internet friend on the face of the internet. I had no idea that today is your birthday.

So um yeah...HAPPY BIRTHDAY. May your day be filled with lots of books, no Christmas sweaters and no arm pit stains.

[Miss Squirrel]

I have heard many wondrous things about Kiehl's deodorant. Many women use it on their wedding day because they'll be wearing strapless dresses and want to be able to dance in a carefree manner all night and still smell fresh as a flower at the end of the night. I don't know whether or not it contains alumninium, but I would most likely expect it to also be made of unicorn tears and rainbows seeing as all their products are priced skyscraper high. But, it works.

[Danielle]

Happy freakin' birthday! (my wish for you: may you have no more pit sweats)