Awkward moments at the gym, take two

One of the front desk monitors at my gym (yup, THIS ONE) has taken to calling me “Pinky”.  I find it vaguely annoying, partly because the pink hat I sometimes wear in the winter (the one in the About Me Photo up on the top left) really isn’t extraordinary enough to warrant an nickname and partly because, well, I don’t really want to be called “Pinky”. 

Last night, I arrived just in time for my 5:30 date with the elliptical.  As I swiped my card (which I now pay for with perfectly good money!), he looked up and said “Hey there, Pinky.”

“You’re going to need to come up with a new nickname, I’ve officially retired that hat for the season”, I told him.   (And let me just add that my name pops up on the screen he’s looking at when I swipe my card, so it’s not like he doesn’t know my real name.)

“Pinky’s a good name, though,” he replied.  And I would have just left it there, except I decided last week that I need to be better about actually talking to the people I see daily – the people who work in the coffee shop, the woman who collects my trash every afternoon, the security guard who checks my badge every morning and afternoon.  Here’s my opportunity, I thought.  Time to start being a better person!

“I don’t think I want to be Pinky.  It reminds me of Pinky from Pinky and the Brain,” I said.

“Pinky and the Brain is a great show!”

“Um, yeah, but Pinky is RETARDED.”

“He’s not retarded, he’s funny”

“He’s funny because he’s retarded.”

"All the same, I’d rather not share a nickname with a retarded mouse.  Anyway, I’d better get going…"

"Yeah, you better get to it!  You’re always working hard.   We were just talking about how hard you work here. "

(?!?)

"You and... who?" 

"Oh, you know, me and one of the other guys here."

(?!?!?!!)

"Yeah, not really.  I haven’t been here in like, two weeks.  I NEED to work out harder. (Awkward laugh)"

"No, you’re doing really great!  We were just talking about how big you’re getting."

(?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!)

"What?!  How big I’m getting,  like (arm flex), or how big I’m getting, like (hands on hips)?"

"Oh, no no, like GOOD big! You’re definitely not getting big!  You’ve lost a lot of weight, haven’t you?"

"Uh… not really."

"Yes you have!" 

"Uh…. Not really." 

"How much?"

"Like… two pounds."

"No way."

"Um… yes way."  (Can you feel the awkwardness growing?  AND GROWING?)

"You’ve lost more than that.   You’ve lost at least like 20-30 lbs!"

"UM.  WHAT?"

"Yeah, you’re doing great!"

Aaaand that’s when I walked away and drowned myself in the public water fountain.

Important things to remember:

• This guy is a certified personal trainer, not some jackhole who knows nothing about weight or fitness.
• I am five foot one.  I am currently 10 pounds over my ideal weight.  Meaning this dude thinks that at one point I was FORTY pounds over my ideal weight.
• Forty pounds may not sound THAT bad, but let me reiterate: FIVE FOOT ONE.  Forty pounds on me is like sixty on a normal person.
• I have NEVER weighed TWENTY TO THIRTY POUNDS MORE THAN I DO NOW.
• PEOPLE AT THE GYM TALK ABOUT ME. 
• AND THEY THINK I’M FAT. 

Operation: Talk to People/Be A Better Person is officially canceled. 

Comments

[Janssen]

Um, wow. After that, I'd be canceling the operation too.

[lizzy]

operation go punch ahole 'trainer' in the face can commence when ever you want...you are NOT big!!!!!!!

[elise]

Big = Awesome to all gym rats. That's all you need know.

But, just to make you feel better, I will post a story on Monday (or thereabouts) where I found myself engaged in a similarly uncomfortable conversation, with equally disastrous (especially to my self-esteem) results.

See? Short Girls Who Got Called "Big" Support Each Other! SGWGCBSEO!

[RA]

That is appalling. Operation Shove Other People's Feet in Their Mouths can now commence.

[Tootie]

Don't worry about it. He's probably just awkward with conversation.

I've gotten the same comments once, and they made no sense in my case either.

By the way, I really enjoy reading your blog!

[Kristabella]

This is why I don't go to the gymnasium.

[Keri]

Sounds to me like weird gym guy was trying to hit o you. You might want to flash your verybeautifulandlarge engagement ring in his face.

This after you smack him for thinking you were 40 pounds heavier!

[Kassie]

I have a gym story too!

I allowed one of the personal trainers to talk me into my complimentary training session.

At the end he tried to swindle me into signing up for 3 sessions per week at $50 a session. I said I couldn't afford $600 extra dollars a month. He called his manager over.

Here's where it gets good-
The manager said, "Well how's the gym working out for you now?"
I said, "Well I lost 10 pounds last year."
He said, "Well if we were training you, you would have lost 40."
I WISH I WERE THINKING FAST ENOUGH B/C IF I WEIGHED 40 POUNDS LESS I'D NOW WEIGH 75 POUNDS.. SICKLY. I'm short too.

He then also made a comment that since I'm a teacher he understands if I can't afford $600 more per month. I wanted to say, look at you, you're an ass personal trainer at some chain of gyms, at least I'm making a difference... and how much do you really make anyway?

What an ass.. Maybe ass is a quality necessary to be a personal trainer.

[HollowSquirrel]

Clearly, the dude has had several unfortunate barbell to the head accidents.

While he remembers you as the girl with the pink hat, he's OBVIOUSLY confused you with another HEAVIER gym patron. I mean, come on.

Just chalk it up to his idiocy. You're hott, chica!

[Caryn]

I can't help but wonder if he was trying to pick you up or just be nice, and he was so awkward that it came out all wrong. I hope that's the case, at least. And I agree that it's kind of creepy that he and some other guys at the gym were supposedly talking about you. As for losing weight, muscle weighs more than fat, so if you're muscular you look slimmer but you weigh the same or even more. So that might be messing with the whole weight loss agenda.

[abbersnail]

Oh LORD. I'm 5'1" and have heard that exact same thing before. Usually in the form of "Wow, your legs are HUGE!" They allegedly always mean it as a compliment, but shockingly I never take it that way...

[Marriage-101]

Maybe he had you confused with someone else? Or he was being a dumb boy and thought "if I tell her she's lost a bunch of weight, it will be a compliment!" and doesn't realize women will take it to mean "you thought I was HOW fat??? Jerkoff."

[heidikins]

For the record: I completely support your newest operation, and will add whatever assistance necessary to assure it's success.

Secondly, admittedly, I am giggling right now. Sorry!

xox

[Laurel]

That is my nightmare!! This is why I do not TALK TO or ACKNOWLEDGE random people in my life. Abort mission! Abort mission!

[Isabel]

You know what I read into this? It's either one of the following:

1- He's in love with you and keeping tabs on you.

B- He has you confused with someone else.