My compulsive shoe buying habits. Let me show you them.

How many shoes can you buy in one weekend before you officially have to check yourself into some sort of retail rehab?

 

Um... yeah.  Less than this, I assume?

It all started when Anna posted a picture of these shoes as part of Mission: Put Together.  I saw those shoes, and I fell in love.  I wanted them.  I had to have them.  Nevermind the fact that I can't walk in heels, heels hurt my back, heels are not my friend.  None of that mattered.  I had to have those shoes.  I spent several hours scouring the internet for that exact model (with quite a bit of help from my proxy shopper, RA) and we finally found them.  And wow, that sure was some heel.  Three and three quarters inches, to be exact.   Several more hours were spent searching the web for an identical pair with a slightly lower heel, to no avail.  I resolved to think about it over the weekend before clicking the "submit order" button that would send them straight to my door.

Then I went shopping with my mom over the weekend and I found these in Ann Taylor Loft.  Last pair.  My size.  Twenty bucks.  I took it as a sign.  I mean, what's not to love:

 

At our next shopping stop, I found a killer pair of red peeptoe pumps on sale at Ann Taylor, but they didn't have my size in New Jersey.  Instead, the lovely sales associates put a pair on hold for me in Maryland and I picked them up when I got home.  Along with a cute pair of brown pumps I found on sale at the MD store.  That's three pairs of pumps, for those of you keeping track.  And I also bought a pair of flip flops.  That brings our total to four.

I wore my new black pumps on Monday.  It was a disaster.  The heel!  What was I thinking?  Also, I cannot walk in pumps without stepping out of them and subsequently tripping.  A lot.  I had sort of forgotten about that. 

After a full day of tripping around the office I'd had a major dose of reality.  As  much as I would love to be one of those girls who wears fantastically high heels around the office, I am not.  My back is still reminding me of that fact today, three days later.  Sigh.  And they were such a bargain.

And so, after this little Monday reality check, Tuesday became one long search for The Perfect Black Pump.  Together, RA and I searched Zappos, Piper Lime and Endless, as well as the brand websites for Nine West and Bandolino, two of our favorite go-to shoe manufactures.  We found several options.  And because Endless offers free overnight shipping, I ordered them all.  Plus a few non-black pumps too. 

So that was another five pairs + my four pairs from the weekend = Nine new pairs of shoes.

Oh, and I also ordered two pairs of flats last week, too.  So that makes, what?  Eleven?  Oh wait, I also ordered my beloved red pumps in black the minute they went on sale at AnnTaylor.com, just to keep all my options open.  Since they hadn't yet arrived at the time of this photo-shoot, my trusty Teva flip-flops agreed to serve as a placeholder.

That's nine pairs of pumps, two pairs of flats, one pair of flip flops and a partridge in a fucking pear tree. Annotated version is on flickr, and I suggest you take a look, study it, and maybe make some flashcards because this shit is about to get complicated.

After much thought (too much thought for a topic not involving world peace or hungry orphans, but too late now!), I have determined the that the following contestants will not be moving forward to the next round of OPH's Next Top Shoe:

Ridiculously, fantastically high-heeled Ann Taylor Loft pumps. You are a really beautiful pair of shoes, and I love that you only cost $20.  But in this harsh world, being pretty isn't enough.  You also have to not cause bodily harm to the wearer.  I'm sorry, but you will not be OPH's Next Top Shoe. Please take your receipt, get into your box, and wait to be returned this weekend.

Brown Ann Taylor pumps.  You have so much going for you.  You've got a great look, your heel is a much more sensible height, and you were a veritable bargain, marked down from $128 to $49.99, with an extra 20% discount thrown in.  But you're a half size too big, and there were no more pairs left at the store to even think about exchanging you for.  And I already have a pair of slightly too-big brown heels that work really well.  I'm sorry, but you just don't have what it takes to be OPH's Next Top Shoe.   Please take your receipt, get into your box, and wait to be returned this weekend.

Red and silver Chinese Laundry pumps. You are both cute, but you just don't have that look that makes a shoe rise above all the other cute shoes in the world.  You both photograph well, but in person you just don't live up to your image.  I'm sorry, but you will not be OPH's Next Top Shoe.  Please take this return shipping label and prepare to be sent back to Endless.com headquarters.

The following contestants now remain in the running for OPH's Next Top Shoe:

Teva flip flops, please step to the side.  The black Ann Taylor peeptoe slingbacks that you graciously agreed to stand in for are something I desperately need.  Even though your heel is a bit high, you are most definitely walkable on top of being downright gorgeous.  Congratulations, you will be joining the other shoes in the closet.  You will NOT be returned. 

Red Ann Taylor flats, please step to the side.  You are adorable, you were on sale, you are comfortable, and you will be an excellent replacement for those horrid Steve Madden flats that have been destroying my feet for the past eight months. You're everything a shoe should be. Congratulations, you will NOT be returned.

And lastly, blue Ann Taylor flip flops, please step to the side.  A good pair of flip-flops are a no-brainer, and you were on sale for $12 and go perfectly with a new dress I just bought (more on that in a minute!).  Congratulations, you will NOT be returned. 

I now have five pairs of beautiful shoes before me.  Unfortunately, I am not sure that you all have what it takes to become a permanent fixture in my closet.   Let's start with the middle row.

Red Ann Taylor peeptoe slingbacks:  You are a work of art.  You're actually walkable (the slingback seems to be better for me than the pump), but you still have a three inch heel.  I'm just not sure that there's room for two pairs of patent leather peeptoe slingbacks in my closet, and we have to face the fact that your beauty can work against you - red doesn't go with everything.  But you really do have a great look, and you are still in the running for OPH's Next Top Shoe.  The audience will decide if you have what it takes to be one of OPH's Next Top Shoes.

Dear audience, please vote now using the poll box below.  Should these beautiful shoes remain in my collection, or are they a ridiculous indulgence?  They set me back $52 (originally priced $118).

Opinion Polls & Market Research

On to the blue flats.  You're a nice pair of shoes, for sure.  But you were purchased with a specific purpose: to go with a new blue dress.  I'll be honest with you, I'm just not sure you go with the dress at all. 

The audience will decide your future. These shoes were originally priced at $98 (I think), I paid $40.

Opinion Polls & Market Research

(I won't ask you to vote on whether or not I should keep Madison because he ate his receipt long ago.  And then threw it up in a basket of clean laundry.)

Let's move on to the third row of contestants. 

I have before me three pairs of black pumps.  I was convinced that I desperately needed a pair of black pumps, but now I'm just not sure. 

Nine West pumps: Your heel is 1/4 higher than the Bandolinos, and you cost $79. 

Bandolino pumps: You cost $69 and have a lower heel, but you're slightly pointier -- and I don't think I like that about you.  To tell you the truth, I don't love either of you.  You just haven't shown me that you have what it takes to be OPH's Next Top Shoe.  I just don't think that you want this badly enough.  Do you?  Do you really WANT THIS? I'll be straight with you, honey:  I'm afraid you're just not "me". 

Chinese Laundry black pumps:  You guys have it going on.  You're much more my style, and I love that you were on sale for $48.  The one problem I have with you is the wooden heel.  It looks cute -- but I'm afraid that it makes you unfancy enough to void the whole purpose of having a pair of black pumps.  You'd be fun under jeans, but I'm not sure if you'd ever beat out my beloved Privos.  I just don't know if you want this badly enough.  I don't think you really, really WANT to be OPH's Next Top Shoe. Do you?

All three pairs of pumps have some great qualities, but only one of you (at most) can become OPH's Next Top Shoe: Black Pump Edition.

Tune in next week to find out who got returned and who made the final cut to become OPH's Next Top Shoe! 

**********************************************************************

Edited to add: Today marks the halfway point of Mission: Put Together!  RA has crunched some fantastic numbers in honor of this midpoint - go over and check her post out.  I meant to do a mid-month M:PT recap, but I didn't get around to it.  As you can see, I've been a little busy.

Comments

[Heidi]

i can't even tell you how fabulous this post was :)

[Audrey]

I agree wholeheartedly with Heidi. Also, I love that dress! I think the flip flops will be uber cute with it.

[RA]

This post was totally worth all of the anticipation. I feel so honored to have been a part of so much of the shopping process! My votes have been cast, and I wait with bated breath for the results.

By the way, I would like to claim "proxy shopper" and "shopping by proxy" before anybody gets wind of it and makes a mint off the phrase. Royalties and all that. :)

[Laurel]

THIS ENTRY IS LIKE PORN. Wow.

Best OPH entry in history, except maybe the one where you got engaged.

No, this one is better.

[elise]

Lol @ Lauren :)

Also - this post is even more impressive than your shoe buying habits! And I have voted on all accounts, but would like to clarify my last vote - I voted that you return all the black pumps (because who needs pumps when you're a flats kinda gal), but I only agreed with the FIRST half of the statement. I say return them all because you aren't in love with any one of them, and continue the search for the perfect pair. Perfect black pumps ARE hard to find, but they are classic, a staple, every girl needs a pair, and you can keep them for years. I will help look!

[elise]

And why my fingers typed "n" instead of "l", I have no idea. LAUREL. Geez.

[Laurie]

Keep them all!

[Wickedly Scarlett]

Wow. Have I told you lately that I love you? This post... well, it damn near made me cry tears of shoe joy.

And those red AT flats with the buckle? I MUST HAVE THEM!!

[Valerie]

I was just cooing over your pointy-toed black Bandolino pumps, thinking "I need to get those!"

And then I realized that I already have them.

[heidikins]

Oh. My. Gaaash! Seriously? I have read this post two or three times and am seriously in LOVE with your shopping habits. (Ahem, wipe drool off of keyboard, continue typing.)

I think that any shoes you buy you MUST love, and they must feel good on your feet. I am not into buying shoes simply because they are on sale, or gorgeous, or *almost* your size. Only buy/keep shoes that you love. Good luck!

xox

[lizzy]

I don’t know if i want to be an enabler but....go to http://www.like.com/shoes#1 . Its pretty much awesome for shoe shopping...u can look by color, style, HEAL HIGHT....call me if u need a tutorial!

[Julie]

And I thought I had a shoe buying problem :)

[Isabel]

Dude...BEST POST EVER.

That is all.

[Kassie]

I don't think I bought that many pairs of shoes last year. You've just given me permission to shop more.

I also left the above comment on the post from last Monday and I don't know how to delete it. Ah maybe one day I'll become skilled at this!

[HollowSquirrel]

ooooh remind me of your address and where your spare key is?

[Working Girl Two]

wow, this post just made my day. and i think you should keep all the shoes. i especially love the red flats. so CUTE!