Baby, we got it

All the pretty things I WANTED:

(1. Scooter, 2. Kitchen table, 3. Kitchen cabinetry, 4. Crown molding, 5. New front door, 6. New non-back-breaking bed, 7. Fancy camera, 8. A pretty wedding)

Aaaaand...what we GOT:

(1. New bed, Sick Cat #1, Sick Cat #2)

First of all, I'd like you all to say hello to the new love of my life, our ridiculously expensive (even though we got it for half price on Craigslist) Tempurpedic bed.   I am in love with this bed already.  I want to call in sick for an entire week so I can do nothing but lie on it all day long while the million tiny little swiss citizens inside it massage my back. 

The only problem with that plan is that it's still propped up against the couch in our first-floor living room, as we need about four people with superhuman strength to come and carry it up two very narrow flights of stairs for us.   Ability to bend the laws of physical space would be a plus, as we thinkit's going to bend up around the corners, but we can't be sure.  It's a whole lot thicker than our other mattress.  You know, because of the millions of tiny little swiss masseurs inside it.  If it turns out to not bend around the corners, would anyone be willing to lend us their helicopter for the weekend so we can airlift this thing into the third-floor bedroom?

And in cat news, Maxwell isn't doing so, um, well.  We begin kitty chemo this week.  Don't worry, it's not as bad as it sounds.  He just gets one extra pill every other day, his hair won't even fall out or anything.  Kitty chemo is just aimed at relieving pain and slowing down cancer growth, so it's only about 1/10 as aggressive as human chemo. 

Sadly, Madison, never one to be left out, appears to have kitty cancer as well.   It wasn't nothing, after all.  I'm still hoping it's actually his thyroid (which could be fixed), but something is definitely wrong with him.  I'm really, really sad, of course, but I'm taking this all pretty well (if I do say so myself).  Maybe it's because I'm in denial; both Max and Mads are still acting like their normal, happy selves... knocking over unattended glasses of water, licking Joel's morning cereal bowl when he's not looking and staring menacingly at the stray cats outside the window.   Or maybe it's the millions of tiny Swiss citizens in my living room.   Either way, things are good at the moment, and I'm just sitting here, trying to move that mattress up two stories with the power of my mind, and simultaneously hoping like heck that the thirteen bucks a month I've been paying for Madison's fancy health insurance isn't going to call whatever he has a pre-existing condition.

Comments

[elise]

Damn. You're totally gonna beat me on the spreadsheet now. Also: Yay for the Swiss citizens of tiny stature and double yay for kitty health insurance THAT YOU GOT EVEN THOUGH YOU FELT A LITTLE DUMB, WHO'S DUMB NOW?? Yeah that's right. Not you.

OH NOES. The mattress not fitting upstairs may be a bad thing. Funny side note, my little brother kept asking people if they had a tempurpedic bed for like a year after he so an infomercial at the age of 4. He could even quote some of their selling points.

As for Max and Madison, I cry a little for you. Because good lord, pets are so freaking important. But don't worry, Tudy's abscess if fully leaked out. All over our fancy padded relatively new dining room chairs.

[Jemima]

I want everything on your list. Both lists. Even those fat and sweet tumor-kitties lying on their backs like roadkill. Beulah is doing the same thing (the roadkill posture...or maybe basking seal posture sounds nicer) on the couch, only she is growling menacingly at her own paws.

If you're installing cabinets, why don't you two fly down to Charleston, demolish the crappy additions on our house, build a modern separate structure in the back and fix me up a nice kitchen. Because I am SICK OF RENTING. I want to install tile and nice flooring and have a real garden with a wall you can come mosaic for me. I want a washer and dryer I don't have to hike to with 4000-lbs of laundry. I want sunlight and windows and fresh air. And a tempurpedic mattress. (God, those things rock.)

Clearly, I too need to win the lottery.

I'm sorry your kitties are sick though. They look so cute and delicious, it's hard to imagine that there's anything wrong with them. Max looks like he'd be scrumptious with barbecue sauce. Mmm...kitty.

[Laurel]

I am so sorry about the kitties. What sad news. :( That is just heartbreaking!

At least you have a super comfy new bed?

[Julie]

Aw I hope the kitties are okay...
Cancer sucks.

P.S. Tim is pretty hunky and strong, I'll send him right over.

[Wickedly Scarlett]

I'm so jealous about your bed and so sorry about the kitties... I hope that their kitty chemo works some miracles and they're all better soon. Maybe I should look into pet insurance again...

[Audrey]

I'm so sorry about the kitties! But from what I've heard, it seems like the best possible way to spend chemo treatments would be laying on a bed while tiny swiss masseurs make you as comfortable as possible. So at least they'll have that!

[Liz]

aw poor kittys!! That's so sad!!

[cady]

i'm so sorry about your kitties!

[abbersnail]

:-( Hugs to your kittens!

[janet]

I'll take the bed if you can't get it upstairs. Something tells me you'd first just sleep in the basement.

Sorry about the bad cat news :(

[nancypearlwannabe]

Aww. Poor kitties. It's definitely a good thing you've been paying that $13 a month, rather than thousands now, right?

Good luck with the masseurs!

[Lara]

OH NO!! I really need to get Alex into the vet. You have me terrified. I'm so sorry your babies are sick.

Shit. I should get some pet health insurance.

[alyndabear]

Oh Jen, I am so, so sorry about Maxie and Mad. I hope they are okay, and that the pills work. (Holy crap, should I get pet insurance?)

I think the kitties should all get in on the tiny masseur action too!

[Kristabella]

I'm so sorry about your kitties. That makes me sad. I hope they will be OK!

Congrats on the bed! That is one thing I can totally justify, no matter the cost. Because I love me some sleep.

[Erin]

Poor kitties! I hope they get better soon!

[Lindsey]

I am happy about your new bed, but sad about your kitties. I hope they respond well to the treatment!