In other news...

Hi guys.  I am not quite sure how to come back from such a gloomy post, but I'll try.  First off, I am OK.  Thank you all, SO MUCH, for your comments, emails, texts and phone calls.   And if I said anything nonsensical to you in response to those messages, um... sorry.   I didn't think that the muscle relaxers were having any effect other than making me pass out in slack-jawed coma for a few hours every afternoon, but I don't exactly remember posting some of the thing I did on facebook or sending some of the texts in my phone's sent folder (not that I said anything outrageous, I just don't remember saying it at all)... so I guess they were working after all?   I'm still pissed off because my coworkers both got sent home with some grade-A quality painkillers and I got stuck with some bullshit muscle relaxers that my doctor-friend told me are pretty much placebos but WHATEVER.   We're all OK, and that is what matters.

I felt pretty much like hell on Thursday and Friday, but I think I'm steadily getting better.  I am back at work today, woohoo.  Life goes on, and I am very, VERY grateful for that.

Moving on...

After the return of Jack Baur on Sunday night, I found myself at Sam's Club yesterday purchasing, among (many) other things, a 15-lb bag of rice and a 5-liter bottle of olive oil.  Then I went through the pantry and pulled out things like peanut butter and told Joel "we need to get some more of this shit.  This never goes bad."  

And then I told him I thought we should get a gun and he spent the rest of the evening on the computer looking at tactical rifles.  

The thing is, I love shows like 24 and Jericho... but they scare the living shit out of me, to put it mildly.   And I can't even tell you how terrified I was after reading The Road.   I used to have nightmares that revolved around there being some sort of natural disaster and my being unable to wrangle all three cats into a carrier before being evacuated.  Now I'm afraid of riots and survival in a post-apocalyptic breakdown of society.  

(After we decided we need to get a gun, I also realized we also need to get a goat, at least two sheep, and some chickens as well.  And a fallout bunker.  Joel will commence looking at real estate in  Wyoming as soon as he finds the perfect gun.)

I'm either the smartest person I've ever met or the craziest.  If it's the latter, I'd like to blame everything on "the amnesia", which is what I have taken to calling the drop in IQ I've experienced after the accident.  Don't get mad when I can't remember what happened last season on Battlestar Gallactica!  It's the amnesia.  I think I may have over-inflated my front car tire, but I can't be sure.  It's the amnesia!  You know how it is. 

Yesterday was my last day home before returning to work and I was very excited about the prospect of being home at 5pm to watch the entire hour of Gilmore Girls on ABC Family (instead of the last half hour, which I usually catch at the gym).  No missing the first half of the episode, no laughing too loud because I have headphones on while I"m on the treadmill... just  me, my couch, and Luke Danes.  And then I turned on the TV to find Kyle XY on instead!   If that's not a sign of the upcoming apocalypse I don't know what is. 

Good thing we have enough soup to last us through the nuclear winter.

Comments

[Angela Noelle]

You know I was laughing right up until the end there--but replacing GG with Kyle XY? NOT FUNNY! And this is why I am steadily collecting all of the seasons on DVD. I will not be foiled by evil television networks and their youth oriented programming.

[nancypearlwannabe]

I kept wishing the people from The Road would find peanut butter! I was like, if anything would survive a nuclear winter it would be Jif...

[Cheryl]

Dude, the Sam's. We had one of those bags of rice (the ones that come in the burlap bag with the plastic bag inside) and it lasted almost a year and through a move. I thought the bag was so cute that I stuffed it with newspaper and put it on top of my cabinets with my antique kitchen stuff.

And I, too, have a gargantuan bottle of olive oil in my cabinet. But I can't remember if mine is 5 or 3 liters.

[blaez]

i have irrationales about zombies (my boyfriend says its irrational)... i keep asking him if we can bar the windows...that'll keep em out right? and a bunker under the house. sealed tight and shut so they can't get in. 10 feet of steel and concrete nothing can get in or out...

glad to hear your feeling better.

[Sarah]

My level of crazy is totally impacted by what I'm reading/watching. Terrifying mythical creatures appearing in Eragon are the reason I can't take the dog out in the back yard at night until we replace the light bulb because only then will I be protected from the light fearing monsters. Is this rational? No. Am I still scared that something is going to jump over the fence and attack me? Yes.

[Jemima]

OMG, I KNOW! I was quivering with terror for WEEKS after reading The Road. WEEKS, I TELL YOU! That book totally f*cked with my MIND!

[DM]

I once looked out the window at the gas station I was working at and saw a clown pumping gas. I was terrified and asked everyone if they also saw the clown. After receiving 300 confused looks, I said I just read "It." And everyone says "Ohhh."

I blame Stephen King for most of my nightmares. Hasn't made me want to move to Wyoming though.

[Julie]

I am so glad that you're okay. Tim and I were in an accident on Christmas Eve and I haven't had the courage to talk about it again since it happened. But maybe now I am thinking that I can.

I love Jack. While I was watching all 4 hours, I kept saying okay enough... I can't watch this show anymore. But I still watch, and I still have nightmares. I am my own worst enemy.

Please don't move to Wyoming.

[Lizzy]

ok, so i know you are recovering from a car accident and planning a wedding...but im dying over here on the other side of the world with out your blog posts!!!!!

[Lindsey]

Your insanity has me LMAO. That is all.