When pigs flu

After dissecting a series of increasingly confusing emails, it seems I am now eligible to receive a free H1N1 vaccine through my workplace. In the spirit of Christmas Giving, I’d like to offer this vaccine to someone who needs it more than I do. Please present your arm for stabbing between the hours of 7:30 and 4pm tomorrow.

In all seriousness, I will get the shot. I got a seasonal flu shot this year too, for the second time in my life. I work within a hospital system, and although I have nothing to do with patients or patient care, I do breathe the same air they do. A flu briefing I attended last month basically equated not getting the vaccine with killing innocent babies, and while I’m willing to take my own chances with the flu… I am not willing to kill other people. I have a whole host of reasons why I normally don’t get a flu shot: I am not at high risk! In college I got flu-like symptoms from the shot and that sucked! I want my body to develop its own defenses! I don’t want to contribute to the development of vaccine-resistant strains! I don’t want to put unnecessary medical stuff in my body! But honestly, it all boils down to one thing: I really hate shots.

Please, don’t try to tell me “it doesn’t really hurt” or “it’s not that bad”. Yes, it is. I got the seasonal shot, and you know what? It hurt. A lot. It was exactly as bad as I thought it was going to be, and I realize that’s because “it’s all in my head”, but you know what? All pain is in your head. It’s just neurons firing off messages to your brain, so theoretically we could all get over it and walk on hot coals, right?

Yes, possibly I’m feeling a little defensive because people have insinuated lately that I am a big, giant baby. And yes, possibly, they’re right. But nevertheless, I am scared.

I really hate all types of needle-ing, but shots are my least favorite. If I have to choose, I’d rather have something taken out (as in, blood) than have something pushed in. I swear, I can feel the vaccine pushing into my arm, and oh my god I need to stop talking about this. But to all of the people who I am not killing: I really hope you appreciate it. I took a needle for you. Or, I’m going to tomorrow, when I’m not wearing a new sweater. It would just be too much of a shame to get this one all wrinkled by pushing up the sleeve, you know?

Comments

[Mary]

I got the H1N1 shot on Monday, and I have to say that while all needles feel like needles, i did not get the mind numbing muscle pain afterwards like I do w/ the seasonal flu shot. Which to me is always the worst part.

[RA]

Can you get the nasal mist instead of the injection? It's unnerving (like, you can't sniff too heartily, and I didn't feel at all inoculated after it), but it's not a shot.

And re: people downplaying fears, that is plain RUDE. So what if I hate balloons because they might pop in my face? SO WHAT?!

[janet]

I love the sass in this post. All pain is just in your head, duh!

I am not getting the shot because I am not eligible, but I think I would if I could. Then again, H1N1 seem sooooo last season already :)

[Linsleyd]

In all honesty, I hate shots and the flu shot hurt. The swine flu shot did not hurt. So, that's something!