Operation Pink Herring

Oh, give me a home

The last time we visited Joel's family in Vermont the conversation turned to potential places we'd all like to move.  This is something Joel and I think about an awful lot, as we'd like to make an exodus from the Mid-Atlantic some day.  Someone suggested Kansas, which Joel's mom shot down immediately.  "Too many tornadoes" was her reasoning.  The rest of the family thought this was a silly reason to not like an otherwise fine place -- I mean, how many people DIE in Kansas tornadoes?  Probably fewer than perish in Vermont blizzards every year, right? -- but I understand what she means completely. 

Tornadoes don't scare me.  That's not to say I wouldn't run shrieking to the nearest cement-fortified bomb shelter if I was ever in the immediate vicinity of a tornado; I assure you, I would.  But I don't get nervous just thinking about tornadoes.  Alligators, now that's a different story.  I am terrified of alligators and I will never consent to live anywhere in the real south for fear of someday coming across one.  Even though I know, rationally, that the likelihood of my ever being killed or maimed personally by an alligator is pretty low, I just can't even think about it.  I hate alligators.  I can't live where they live. 

Nor will I ever be able to live in a deserty climate: too many snakes. I could never put the possibility of seeing a snake, poisonous or not, out of my head.  And don't even get me started on scorpions. The one and only time I was in Arizona, I hardly slept for fear that I hadn't checked the sheets well enough for scorpions.  I developed a minor case of OCD over checking and re-checking my shoes before I'd put them on my feet. 

So, no Southwest and no Everglades for us.  And apparently, no New Zealand.  My little brother is on his latest adventure there and posted some pictures on Facebook earlier this week.  Among stunning mountain vistas and idyllic country roads was this photo:

It's a little hard to see what's going on here at first, but the caption is "Feeding Freshwater Eels".

EELS, YOU GUYS.

And then there's THIS...

I commented on this photo, writing that I was going to have nightmares; to which he responded: "Jerry kept saying, "don't worry they don't have teeth," but he was bleeding after one bit him so maybe they do."

Well!  There's one less place to consider for our next vacation!

I'm curious if other people have certain things that just freak them out completely.  I'm not scared of animals, or even of legitimately dangerous animals.  Here's a photo I took of a bear on our honeymoon.  And here's a moose.  I want to kidnap these baby tigers from Chile and keep them in my living room.  But alligators, snakes and water-borne critters, in general, scare the daylights out of me.  Oh, and parasites.  I get squicked out just thinking of a hostile organism living in my body, without me even knowing, chewing away -- ahem.  So what about you?  Irrational fear of frogs?  Two-toed sloths?  Ocean riptides? What else should I be afraid of?

My own worst enemy

When I noticed a poster at the gym advertising yoga classes on Wednesday evenings, I thought, "Hey, I should go to that!"  And then I immediately started inventing excuses why I couldn't go THAT week.  It was a Tuesday, so Wednesday was tomorrow.  That was too soon.  I mean, sure, I wanted to go. Just not right now. 

And then the week after that I couldn't go because I had to race home after work to see if my cat was dead. 

And then this yesterday I started to tell myself I couldn't go that evening because I forgot to call and see if I needed to bring my own mat or not.  What if I dragged my mat all the way to work -- on my bike, you guys! -- and it turned out I didn't need it?  But on the other hand, even if they had mats, would I want to use a communal mat?  No, so I should bring my mat.  What if class is canceled?  What if it's over?  What if I don't have $5 for the drop in fee?  Oh, I don't have time to think about this, I'm late.  I'll just go next week.

The really sick thing about this entire line of reasoning is that instead of making my usual long list of New Year's Resolutions this year, I decided to just focus on a few big, overarching things.  Two things, so far.  #1: Get more sleep. #2: Do more yoga.  And the obstacle to #2 is that my beloved yoga studio doesn't have evening classes that cater exactly to my schedule. The night classes are from 7-8:30, which means I don't get home until 9pm, and that severely cuts in to my decompression time.  I've wished many times that they would add a class at 5:30 (except then I'd have to really rush to get there on time, and I'd complain that I hate rushing around all day), and here one is -- one block from my office, I might add -- and I'm inventing excuses not to go.  What is my problem?

Well, the problem is that I don't like change.  Ironically, one of the mantras of yoga is to embrace change (see! this is why I need to go more!).  So I told myself to shut the hell up, crammed my yoga mat into my bike bag and called and reserved my spot when I got to work.  And still, all through the day I'd catch myself mentally whining that I didn't want to go, what if it sucked, what it if was a waste of time, maybe I should just start next week when I wasn't so busy. What if there wasn't a bike rack, then I'd have to walk ALL the way back a block in the wrong direction to get my bike.  I could take my bike with me and just lock it to a sign post or something, but here it's next to a guard station so I don't have to worry about my wheels and lights getting stolen and oh, it's just too much to think about!   

You're just being stupid, I told myself.  Shut up.  You're going. (Yoga is also about "accepting yourself as you are."  I think I need to start going to remedial classes.)  Besides, I thought, what's the worst that could happen?

Well, for starters, I almost missed the whole thing because I couldn't figure out how to get into the goddamn building.  The last time I went to the main gym was years ago (this day, in fact), and I've never been there after 5pm, which, apparently, is after 3pm.  And 3pm is when they lock the shortcut door I've always gone through.  No matter, because I still had fifteen minutes and I knew where the outside entrance was. Emphasis on the word WAS, since there is now an entire new building in front of the outside entrance, complete with a six-foot iron gate.  Which locks at 5pm. 

Undeterred and only slightly flustered, I asked the security guard in the fancy new building if she new how to get into the gym.  She just kept saying "it's right next door", which yes, I knew, what I needed to know what how to get INSIDE, short of hijacking a wrecking ball.  She finally pointed me to the right ("It's right there!  The gym is right there!") and I walked around the entire building, figuring I must have missed the new entrance the first time I went past. 

Nope.

Finally, after walking around the entire block, I found the entrance. Guess who was working the desk?  JUST GUESS.

Basically everything I'd worried about happened, but I still went.  And I might go again next week, just to spite myself.

I have found myself spending far too much time lately debating idiotic issues and worrying over non-problems.  Should I leave my U-lock on the bike rack at work or take it home with me?  Well, if I need to go anywhere at night I'll need the lock.  But I can't think of any place I'd need to go, and if I really need one I can just use Joel's.  But what if I can't remember which lock is mine tomorrow?  What if I forget to bring it home for the weekend?  Just take it.  But I don't need it.  Why should I carry extra weight?  Oh my god, it weighs like three-fourths of a pound.  Just take it.  But I don't need it!  But I might!

You should hear the debate over whether I should go to yoga at 10am or 4pm on Saturday.  If I go at 10am, it will get me out of bed! But then I won'd be finished and showered before 1pm and then I'll waste the whole afternoon away, plus I like the 4pm teacher better.  But what if there's a sub?  And what if I just waste away the whole morning and then I'll have to go at 4pm and that's right in the middle of the afternoon and what if we want to do something?  Oh, please, like what?  I don't know!  Something!

It sounds like all I do is think about exercising, which couldn't be farther from the truth.  You should hear the fights I have in my head over what to have for lunch and what color to paint my toenails.  Should I watch Jersey Shore or Project Runway? 

I am spending far too much time worrying about these things and then beating myself up for worrying about them, and that's going to be my resolution #3. Stop the non-productive internal monologue.  Stop fretting about the possibility of expending an iota of unnecessary effort.  Stop talking yourself out of trying new things. And watch Project Runway already.

Live to die another day

Is it just me, or do four day weeks have a way of feeling longer than regular five-day weeks? I’m almost (almost) happy this isn’t another three-day weekend, because I don’t think I can handle another week like last week.

What happened, you ask? WELL. To start things off, on Tuesday we had Madison’s annual vet visit. Did you know that cats can have allergic reactions to vaccines? I did not know this, although I suppose it makes sense. If humans can have allergic reactions to drugs, why can’t animals, right? Luckily, I thought to call the vet right away (“excuse me, but my cat just threw up about fifty times and took a dump on the kitchen floor, is that bad?”) and we rushed him back to the vet and they gave him a big dose of benadryl and managed to stop the reaction (but not before he developed hives all over his body – and in case you’re wondering what hives look like on a cat: it just looked like he had the world’s worse case of bed-head, with fur sticking straight out of the lumps on this face like they’d been gelled up in a punk-rock hairdo).

Then we got to give Madison a pill twice a day for the next three days. I’ve NEVER been able to get him to take a pill before (and, oh, how I have tried), but somehow we managed it. The other options were 1. taking him to the vet twice a day for injections, or 2. letting him go into anaphylactic shock, so I guess what we've been lacking before is just the proper motivation. 

Joel and I both got scratched (but only once each!) and he totally had our tricks figured out by the third day, but it got done and it seems dear Madison will live to terrorize the vet staff another day. And, bonus! We have a new record: three vet visits in two days! Beat that, anyone. I dare you.  At least he's been extra-cuddly and generally good since the whole ordeal.  Except for when he ran outside and hid in the neighbor's junk pile this morning.  Is anyone in the market for a cat?

Anyway, that was that: the cat almost died, but then he didn’t and I don’t think I’ll be feeling too guilty about letting the old rabies vaccine lapse next year.

I had a mental list of all the other catastrophes that happened during the week, but I can’t seem to remember what any of them were now. It was kind of a long, busy week at work. I think. Does anyone else develop total amnesia by Sunday night?

***************************

Joel decided he wanted to get some exercise this weekend. Specifically, he decided he wanted to go for a 10-mile walk on the NCR trail. So walk we did, 10 miles.

Actually, it was 10.89 miles according to the Nike+ pedometer, but who’s counting? And, yes, I did take this picture at the turn-around point as proof.

I’m nowhere near as sore as I expected to be today, and happily my knee feels fine. I didn’t even ice it today! Good job, little knee. Maybe you’ll come around yet.

Man, I also felt like we had a rather impressive list of weekend doings to recount, but that’s about it. Oh, we went to the library.  I did some laundry, folded it, and put it away on the same day (that, actually, is rather big news). And now it’s Sunday night and I’m desperately wishing I had just one more day. Man, it’s like I’ll never learn.

At this rate I'll never get around to Jersey Shore

2. Project Runway.

Otherwise known as another TV discussion post that was supposed to be a paragraph long, but instead is a full recap because I tried to write my paragraph while watching the show and I'm not deleting this now because it took me three hours to write. Even though the show is only an hour long. 

Hey, so Project Runway is back!  Even though the last season just ended like two weeks ago.

Anyway, new designers, pregnant Heidi, same Tim Gunn (thank god).  We're back in New York.  Double thank god.

I'll confess that I always hate the first episode of the season.  It's hard work trying to learn new names and figure out who I love and who I hate all over again.  There are just too many people at the beginning.

This guy is an actor, and by "actor", he means he walks around Disney World dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow.

This girl says she is Iranian and that makes her different.  Yay!  We've never had an overly made up Iranian girl who thinks she's better than everyone on the show before.

This lady's name is Ping and she has a panic attack, complete with frantic shrieking, over the two-minute editing time limit in Central Park.  Apparently she has a problem with deadlines and unwrapping fabrics, which bodes well for all the future visits to Mood.

Christiane says that her first thought is "go for the color" and I am guessing that maybe Nina Garcia, hater of the all-black collection, might have given this girl's application the stamp of approval.

During Tim's check-in, Tim tells Jesus that he finds his dress "disturbing", and Jesus replies that it doesn't bother him at all and he's not changing it.  Good call, kid! What does Tim Gunn know, anyway?

A dude whose no-shit name is Seth Aaron Henderson wears a ripped up tuxedo with a movie usher's red jacket for runway day.  And a bandana around his head during the confessionals.  Just in case the three names weren't getting the point across: he's totally rock and roll. 

And ooooh what have we here? The formerly-Bluefly-now-Macy's Accessory Wall is now the formerly-Bluefly-then-Macy's-now-Bluefly-again Accessory Wall! Do I sense some dramaz? 

RUNWAY DAY!  We learn that the winner of Project Runway will receive blah blah blah we all know this right now.  The only thing I'm more sick of hearing is, "as you know in fashion, one day you're in and they next day you're booted to Lifetime out.

Everyone's designs come down the runway, and everyone thinks their garments are truly amazing.  They all nailed it. Every one of them has showed how much skill they have as a designer.  They would not make a single change. Oh, you kids are so cute.

Despite Anthony's attempt to woo Michael Kors by wearing pants the same color as his skin, Michael says that this model looks like she could go to a garden party and steal champagne bottles with that appendage on her hip. 

Seth Aaron Henderson calls his look "Little Tokyo" and before I can even finish laughing, guest judge Nicole Richie tells him he made everything work, Heidi says it's fun and shows a point of view and Nina "appreciates the back".  Michael thinks it's totally commercial and lots of women would love to own it.  No one says anything about his outfit.

Ping also gets high marks from everyone. Despite her breakdown during the fabric selection, everyone loves her look.  Also, she is not dressed like a crazed magician. 

Jesus's specialty is "evening gown" (how original!) but Heidi isn't sure how fashionable it is and Michael thinks his model looks like a crocodile trunk exploded on an evening gown. Oh, noes!  They don't like it!  Who ever could have guessed OH WAIT TIM DID.

Nina gives Christiane mixed reviews, as does Michael.  Good try, but too much going on.  I have the same complaint about her name, which is very hard to type.

Emilio's dress is deceptively simple, which is code for "you're staying".  I don't necessarily NOT like it, but I'm not quite sure which of the three different sewn-together patterns is the simple one.

The judges have their little chat and dear god, it looks like Seth Aaron Henderson is going to win.  I find myself rooting wholeheartedly for poor panicking Ping, whose look "transported" Michael when the model walked on the stage.  GO PING GO!  I am not ready for an entire season of Sir Seth Aaron Henderson, punk rock movie usher.

DUN DUN DUN.

Ping is safe. Which means she is not the winner. Goddammit.  Seth Aaron is going to win.

BUT WAIT NO, EMILIO IS THE WINNER!  Hooray!  Take that and shove it in your popcorn machine, Seth Aaron, who is also in.  Of course.

Anthony is in and tries to give an acceptance speech.  Heidi tells him to get his himself and his red pants off the runway before she changes her mind to Auf Wiedersehen. 

Heidi totally jerks Jesus around, making it sound like she's going to give him the double-cheek kiss of death before saying "someone has to go... but it's not you".  Heidi!  You're cruel!

Christiane is out, and she says being eliminated means nothing at all.  Riiight.  But I'm actually sorry to see her go, she was non-offensive and not that annoying, except for the fact that her name gave my spellchecker a seizure.

This paragraph-turned-recap would simply not be complete without mention of the most exciting thing to happen during this premier: the commercial for Pregnancy Pact.  PREGNANCY PACT!  Based on a true story!  WORLD PREMIERE!  And perhaps especially fitting, since two of the four judges were pregnant this week. Nina, do you have something to tell us?

Nip/Tuck finally getting sliced (ZING) from FX, people with ridiculous TV loyalty complexes rejoice

I feel like talking about TV.  Let's do, shall we?

1. Nip/Tuck

I am thinking that I am the sole person in the universe still watching this show because I never see it mentioned anywhere, ever.  And there's a good reason for this: it totally and completely sucks.  And not even in an it's-so-terrible-it's-amazing way, because lord knows I love a good ridiculous-yet-fantastic television fantasy. I vaguely remember being really into Nip/Tuck at some point in the distant past, which probably had something to do with the fact that I had a super-crush on Julian McMahon, otherwise known as Cole Turner, the demon who fell in love with a witch on Charmed. 

That relationship is probably #4 on my all-time best Forbidden Loves list (#1, obviously, being Bella/Edward) (#2, also obviously, Buffy/Angel) (#3, less obviously, is a tie between Rory/Dean (after he's married) and Rory/Jess (when she's with Logan)).  So Nip/Tuck arrives and it's not only got Cole, but we get to see his bare ass several times an episode!

Well. Somewhere in the past seven years (SEVEN YEARS HOLY GOD I AM GETTING OLD) Nip/Tuck took Cole, the lovable demon, and turned him into Christian, the nymphomaniac jackhole.  I don't even care to see his ass anymore.  Sean's, either. I wish everyone would keep their goddamn clothes on and that's never a good sigh.  I don't know what sealed the deal for me: Sean accidentally-on-purpose letting his lesbian ex-wife's girlfriend die on the table during a routine face lift?  The fact that Christian has three kids, is supposedly a reputable surgeon, and yet has time to screw at least three women in every episode?  Or perhaps the fact that Christian is both grandfather and stepfather to a fourth kid?  Oh, yes, dear, crazy Kimber has been married to both Christian AND HIS SON.  Jesus, PLEASE, someone cancel the show and bring back Passions already.

It almost redeemed itself last season when Rose McGowan briefly joined the show as the new anesthesiologist, who quickly also become Sean's girlfriend and then even more quickly became Sean's new wife.  Because... that's what normal people do when a new person starts at the office.  You want them to feel included, you know?  So you have sex with them, but then you don't' want them to feel like you're just using them to get back at your partner for having sex with your now-lesbian ex-wife, so you marry them. Obviously.  But then she got killed off by a serial axe murderer (seriously) while the new Sean-family was out camping in the woods -- which, by the way, they were only doing so that she could fill the luxury camper with carbon monoxide and collect on Sean's life insurance policy -- and my dreams of a Charmed reunion were dashed. 

Oh, god, and before HER, Starbuck was on the show for five seconds!  But then.... something happened. To her.  I think.  I had to watch all those episodes on mute so I could pretend her character's name wasn't "Teddy".

Thank goodness this is the last season.  It hurts my heart when I see shows like this carrying on for SEVEN FREAKING YEARS when shows like The 4400 and The Unit are being unfairly canceled.  Yes, I am still bitter about The 4400 and YES, I realize it's time to let go.

Wow, see how I put that little number one up there?  That's because this was meant to be the beginning paragraph.  I was going to talk about other shows but now I'm feeling depressed and angry and I have to go find some online clips of Gilmore Girls or something.

Acciversary

One of the things I told myself in the days immediately following the accident was that in a year it would be just another one of those things in the past that we forget about unless we stumble across a reminder.  That thought was really comforting to me at the time, when I was having trouble processing the entire event.  Although I felt unable to form a reaction at the time -- was I angry? scared? upset? relieved it hadn't been worse? -- I felt immeasurably better knowing that at this point next year, the whole thing's effect on me would have passed.

It made me feel better at the time, but it wasn't true.  That accident still affects me a great deal.  Mostly it's my knee, which still hurts.  I think the surgery helped, but it's hard to tell.  Instead of feeling irritated all the time, my knee just turns bright red and runs its own personal fever at seemingly random times.  It's hard to sit through a movie if I can't put my leg up on the seat in front of me.  I have to ice it several times a day, both at work and at home.  It's not ruining my life, but it's enormously annoying and a huge source of frustration.

There are other things, too.  My driving has suffered.  I hate making lane changes on the highway, especially at night.  I cringe whenever I hear squealing tires.  I annoy Joel, who I still make do almost all of the driving even though my knee is capable of working the clutch now, by flinching when I think he's following too closely behind another car.  In short, I'm afraid.  I feel constantly on edge thinking that another crash could happen at any time. 

Maybe a dose of fear is healthy when we're talking about two-ton heaps of metal traveling at highway speeds, but I think that's more than counteracted by my loss in confidence.

It could have been worse.  I know that, and it's a consolation. 

At this moment last year, it hadn't happened.  I wish there was some way to reach back in time and not get in that car.  To choose a different night to go out, to pick a different theater.  To miss or make one light along the way.  To make some small change, any change that would put us somewhere other than in front of that kid's car.

I hope that at this point next year, it will be something I don't think about anymore.

The year of the wedding

I know that 2009 was pretty terrible for a lot of people.  Layoffs, infertility, breakups, unemployment, divorce, you name it: 2009 seemed to have it.  And in filling out this little annual survey doohickey I'm remembering that there were some pretty hugely sucktastic events in there for me, as well.  But, overall, I think 2009 the happiest year of my life.  Am I crazy?  Was our wedding just THAT awesome (be forewarned: this post unintentionally became a bit wedding-heavy)?  Or did the good just outweigh the bad in my little heart of coal?  I'm not sure, but I can't bring myself to say that 2009 was anything but good to me.  Even if we did spend the last few minutes of it chasing our dumb-as-bricks cat across the neighbor's snowy roof. 

Without further adieu, here's the annual New Year's quiz thing! I really enjoy reading the responses people post to this all over the internet.  (2007 and 2008 versions, should you care to look.)

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before? Rode in an ambulance. Got married. Bought a non-Volkswagen.  Bought a bike of my own.  Made the decision to put a pet to sleep.  Had surgery.  Baked a pumkin pie from scratch.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I never quite got around to making any concrete resolutions this year.  I felt like if I made it through the year without going totally broke or insane and came out married on the other end, then I would have accomplished everything necessary.  And I did, so... I win!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No, but I did just learn that the very first of my friends is pregnant. 

4. Did anyone close to you die? My grandmother died, and that was sad even though we weren't particularly close.  And there was also Max, if animals count.  The first week after that was pretty horrific.  I am an old pro at making myself feel bad about things, but I have never felt so completely crushed by guilt as I did in the first few weeks after putting him to sleep. It was... not good.  Honestly, I still don't feel great about it.

5. What countries did you visit? Canada, for our honeymoon.  I was supposed to go to Argentina for work in November, but then I realized that a 14-hour flight three weeks after having knee surgery was probably not a super idea.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? A new house and new jobs for both of us.  (Dream big, right?) 

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? July 25th. No special reason. 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?  I don't want to say "getting married" because that sounds like one of those people who has been sleeping with a pink, glittery wedding binder under her pillow since age six, just waiting to fill in the blanks with a groom's name... but I think that planning and coordinating all the details that went into that day without losing focus of why we were doing it was my biggest achievement.

9. What was your biggest failure? I'm really not sure. Maybe getting so anxious in the final run-up to the wedding.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Ugh. Almost a year later, and I still think about that stupid car accidentmultiple times a day.  I spent countless hours (and by "countless" I mean that I have a detailed list I'll be sending to my lawyer) going to a chiropractor, an orthopedic surgeon and a physical therapist and I've managed to get everything back to normal except my stupid, stupid knee.  In case you couldn't tell how I feel about the whole situation: it's stupid.  I still vacillate daily between feeling so lucky that things weren't worse and being really, really angry that I'm still dealing with knee problems (and very well might be for the rest of my life) while that kid who hit us has probably forgotten the whole thing ever happened.   

11. What was the best thing you bought?  Again, it's a tie. Between my wedding ring and my Motorola Droid. My god, I love them both.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Joel's. I would be lost without him.  

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?  Kristen Stewart's.

14. Where did most of your money go? The wedding, the mortgage, and our new car.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The wedding.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009? Daylight, by Matt and Kim.  And Your Song, by Ewan McGregor, which was our first dance song.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
(a) Happier or Sadder? Happier.
(b) Thinner or Fatter? About the same, again.
(c) Richer or Poorer? Definitely poorer, but we're steadily repairing the wedding-sized hole in our savings. 

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Sleeping. Reading.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?  Fretting.  This is the same answer I gave last year, and I'd be willing to bet it will be my answer next year too.

20. How did you spend Christmas in 2009?  We slept in and opened a few gifts from Joel's family in the morning.  Later, we went out for dinner and saw Sherlock Holmes in a sold-out theater.  When we got home around midnight there were parking spaces aplenty, which was a true Christmas miracle.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?I stayed in love? This question is weird.

22. What was your favorite TV program? Tie, between True Blood and The Vampire Diaries.  Man, I wish I could love the Sookie Stackhouse books, but they are so very awful.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?  I hate lots of people.

24. What was the best book you read? I read a lot of really great books this year and I really can't pick a single favorite.  It's a tie between the Harry Potter series, Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins, Graceling by Kristin Cashore, and The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman.  However, worst book I read is easy: any one of the Sookie Stackhouse books.  I was totally expecting to LOVE those books, since 1. I bordered on obsession over the first season of True Blood, 2. I like vampire shit, in general.  But oh my god.  They are so godawful that I haven't even been able to finish the last three books yet.  Nine.  There are NINE of these books.  I can't leave the last three unread because the unfinished task light will continue blinking in my brain until the day I die, but I'm not sure when I'll muster up the patience to power through. 

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?  Shazam.

26. What did you want and get?  Married.  

27. What did you want and not get?  A winning lotto ticket.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?  Out of loyalty, I'll say New Moon.  But coming in at a very, very close second: Avatar. 

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?  I spent my 28th birthday on the couch, feeling pretty miserable (and being smothered by a sympathetic cat).

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?  Winning the lottery.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? Illegal jeans, Threadless t-shirts, sweater dresses.

32. What kept you sane?  My mom, Joel and my seven thousand excel spreadsheets. 

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?  Edward Cullen, as portrayed by Robert Pattinson.  (This is different from Robert Pattinson himself, mind you.) (This answer is exactly copied from last year.  Sigh.  Still true.)
 
34. What political issue stirred you the most? Legalizing gay marriage.

35. Who did you miss? This wasn't for the whole year, but Max.

36. Who was the best new person you met?  Uhhh... I'm drawing a blank.  Did I meet anyone new this year?

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009. Biting your nails doesn't help.

Happy new year, internet.  I already know that 2010 is going to be great, if only because doing math this year is going to be SO much easier.