I feel like talking about TV. Let's do, shall we?
1. Nip/Tuck
I am thinking that I am the sole person in the universe still watching this show because I never see it mentioned anywhere, ever. And there's a good reason for this: it totally and completely sucks. And not even in an it's-so-terrible-it's-amazing way, because lord knows I love a good ridiculous-yet-fantastic television fantasy. I vaguely remember being really into Nip/Tuck at some point in the distant past, which probably had something to do with the fact that I had a super-crush on Julian McMahon, otherwise known as Cole Turner, the demon who fell in love with a witch on Charmed.
That relationship is probably #4 on my all-time best Forbidden Loves list (#1, obviously, being Bella/Edward) (#2, also obviously, Buffy/Angel) (#3, less obviously, is a tie between Rory/Dean (after he's married) and Rory/Jess (when she's with Logan)). So Nip/Tuck arrives and it's not only got Cole, but we get to see his bare ass several times an episode!
Well. Somewhere in the past seven years (SEVEN YEARS HOLY GOD I AM GETTING OLD) Nip/Tuck took Cole, the lovable demon, and turned him into Christian, the nymphomaniac jackhole. I don't even care to see his ass anymore. Sean's, either. I wish everyone would keep their goddamn clothes on and that's never a good sigh. I don't know what sealed the deal for me: Sean accidentally-on-purpose letting his lesbian ex-wife's girlfriend die on the table during a routine face lift? The fact that Christian has three kids, is supposedly a reputable surgeon, and yet has time to screw at least three women in every episode? Or perhaps the fact that Christian is both grandfather and stepfather to a fourth kid? Oh, yes, dear, crazy Kimber has been married to both Christian AND HIS SON. Jesus, PLEASE, someone cancel the show and bring back Passions already.
It almost redeemed itself last season when Rose McGowan briefly joined the show as the new anesthesiologist, who quickly also become Sean's girlfriend and then even more quickly became Sean's new wife. Because... that's what normal people do when a new person starts at the office. You want them to feel included, you know? So you have sex with them, but then you don't' want them to feel like you're just using them to get back at your partner for having sex with your now-lesbian ex-wife, so you marry them. Obviously. But then she got killed off by a serial axe murderer (seriously) while the new Sean-family was out camping in the woods -- which, by the way, they were only doing so that she could fill the luxury camper with carbon monoxide and collect on Sean's life insurance policy -- and my dreams of a Charmed reunion were dashed.
Oh, god, and before HER, Starbuck was on the show for five seconds! But then.... something happened. To her. I think. I had to watch all those episodes on mute so I could pretend her character's name wasn't "Teddy".
Thank goodness this is the last season. It hurts my heart when I see shows like this carrying on for SEVEN FREAKING YEARS when shows like The 4400 and The Unit are being unfairly canceled. Yes, I am still bitter about The 4400 and YES, I realize it's time to let go.
Wow, see how I put that little number one up there? That's because this was meant to be the beginning paragraph. I was going to talk about other shows but now I'm feeling depressed and angry and I have to go find some online clips of Gilmore Girls or something.
I don't watch NipTuck but I was drawn into the holy mess that is Jersey Shore when I was traveling one week. I seriously watched like four hours of that trash. BUT GOD. It is like watching a car accident. You just can't wait to see the next trashy mess that happens next.
Posted by: Stephanie | Friday, January 15, 2010 at 02:53 PM
Jersey Shore is among my list of shows that need to be addressed. As a Jersey girl myself, I feel like I have to both defend my state. That sounds like I hate the show, which is the opposite of true. I love it. I just want people to understand that The Shore is a small part of the state that we all make fun of too.
Posted by: Pink Herring | Friday, January 15, 2010 at 03:12 PM
Wow, I kind of wish I hadn't stopped watching Nip/Tuck a few years ago. It sounds like a hot mess.
Just started watching Jersey Shore. It really is like watching a train wreck. (And I love Jersey - lived there for four years and now my in-laws live there.) The things that come out of those people's mouths... I spend most of the episodes gawking at the TV in open-mouthed disbelief.
I miss Gilmore Girls.
Posted by: Mrs. D | Friday, January 15, 2010 at 11:07 PM
I've been slightly curious about what all the hoo-ha over Nip/Tuck has been. Now I know. Thanks for "nipping" (haha!) any lingering curiosity in the bud for me.
Posted by: Mary | Saturday, January 16, 2010 at 04:53 AM
I'm still watching Nip/Tuck because I feel like I have to watch it to the end. I'm a voyeur so I have to watch it die (even after The Carver killed it).
I bet everyone dies from being overexposed to Kimber's disease ridden vagina.
Posted by: Jocelyn | Tuesday, January 19, 2010 at 10:31 AM