Social cycling anxiety

We went down to Richmond on Saturday morning so that Joel could drool over expensive custom bikes at this thing, while I got to partake in ABC Family’s Phony Matrimony Weekend with my friend Jenny, who convenient lives in Richmond and shares my love of made-for-TV movies. That name is not a joke, by the way. “Phony Matrimony Weekend” was dreamed up by someone at ABC Family’s corporate office and then approved by whoever lords over this sort of branding. I don’t think I could love the channel any more, and having someone to watch these ridiculous amazing cinematic pieces with me makes them even sweeter.

This a perfect example of the phenomenon Janssen talked about her in her post about People Who Do … there are people who enjoy watching movies called My Fake Fiance, and there are people who just cannot understand it. The movie was ridiculous, completely unbelievable and terribly acted. I loved every second of it. I loved The Perfect Man, which was on Oxygen later that night, just as much. Hilary Duff! Heather Locklear! Horrific New York accents and a ridiculous premise, around which the entire plot revolves! Honestly, what’s NOT to love?

I like good movies, too, don’t get me wrong. It’s just a completely different kind of enjoyment. I can appreciate a movie for being really good, and I can also appreciate a movie for being really, really bad… in a good way. It’s when bad movies take themselves too seriously that we get into trouble and end up with horrors like Post Grad. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive Rory Gilmore for that monstrosity.

Anyway, after our day of wine-soaked chick flicks and bike-oogling, we headed home just in time for me to make it to a Ladies Biking Event at new-ish bike shop in our neighborhood. I got a flier for this event when I stopped in to pick up a bike part Joel had ordered last weekend, and I treated it like every social invitation that comes my way. I thought, hey, that sounds like fun, and then immediately began compiling a list of reasons why I couldn’t or shouldn’t go. We’d be out of town most of the weekend so I’d be too tired. I wouldn’t know anyone. I’d be mauled by hipsters when they realized I’m a complete cycling fraud. I don’t know anything about bikes. No, seriously, when I called to see if my bike was done with its complimentary 6-month tune up, the bike shop dude asked me which bike was mine and I stammered that it was the black one. The small, black one. Filed under my name?

I always do this, and luckily Joel is there to force me to go and do things that I’m uncomfortable with (he refused to dress in drag and attend as my lady biking BFF, though). So I went, ALONE, to a social event, ALONE -- an event about bikes, ALONE -- and… I had fun. I wasn’t even the least knowledgeable person there; some people didn’t even have bikes yet. (I laughed their asses right out of town, of course, right after I got done accidentally dropping the brochure for Joel’s fancy schmancy bike show on the ground. I mean, no bike! What a loser! I have a very trendy, important bike. It’s, uh, black. And small.)

I am so glad I went. I learned a lot, had a good time and met some new people. I won’t be joining their mountain bike club any time soon, mostly because mountain biking is terrifying and my small, black bike is not a mountain bike, but who knows! Maybe I’ll go on a road ride some day. Like, for fun, not just to get to work. Or, at the very least, maybe I’ll stop panicking when someone makes eye contact with me at the office bike rack. Either way, yay for, you know, doing stuff.

Just to top off our weekend of atypical activity, we went out for dinner and a movie afterwards. On a Sunday night! We didn’t get home until midnight! Again, my gut reaction was to say no, I just want to come home, watch TV, maybe cry a little if the hipsters were mean to me, and go to sleep. But why, self? Why don’t you like fun? There’s a ton of housework and laundry and backlogged Tivo to catch up on tonight, but so what?

I tend to get very anxious when we have things planned for the weekend, which I realize is kind of ridiculous, but I just really, really enjoy decompressing. I need time to clean, to watch TV, and to just be at home. Again, going back to Janssen’s post, I think there are people who get this and people who’d be perfectly fine traveling and going out every single weekend. I’m not one of them, but I’m trying to remind myself that everything is a good idea in moderation.

And that, internet, is what I did this weekend. Did you do anything fun?

Comments

[RA]

I am decidedly in the camp of People Who Don't Watch Bad Movies Voluntarily because I am also in the camp of People Who Shout Angrily the Whole Time and Make It Hell For Everyone Else Involved. So, really, everyone wins by my not watching those movies.

This weekend, we went grocery shopping! And out to dinner! Where I stained a brand new dress! And we watched the rest of the Olympics! These are decoy exclamation points, by the way. The most exciting thing was that the wait for my ginger martini at the restaurant was totally worth it.

[stephanie]

I feel the same way about social events and my weekends. I skipped a running club meeting last week because my fiance was out of town and I was too chicken to go alone and have to talk to people... mostly because I knew they'd think I was just a fake runner, what with being so slow and all. (Turns out that, while still kinda slow, I run a faster 5k than a few of them did this past weekend, so that makes me feel a bit better.)

I also hate having jam-packed weekends and I think that's what every weekend this month is going to be like. Ugh.

[PomJob]

I think ABC Family movie marathons are the best things ever. 13 Days of Halloween? Sweet. 25 Days of Christmas? Make the holidays merrier! I scored the awesomest reusable grocery bag one weekend right before Christmas - ABC Family was doing a street promotion in Philly to push the 25 Days of Christmas. Every time I use the bag I get at least one comment from a jealous bad movie lover. (The bag came with a car air freshener too. Best giveaway ever.)

The only thing keeping me from watching ABC Family 24/7 is the fact that I don't have cable.

[Stephanie]

Just going to admit that I ended up watcing the Fake Fiance movie but actually thought some of it was a little risky for a family channel.

But holy snikes. Joey Lawerence. Mmmm.

My husband on the other hand kept saying- how are you watching this- as he perused the internet. Whatever I watch all his ball. Basketball, football, whatever damn sport is in season.

I was happily lazy. We have started to go to Barnes and Noble once a month and just sit and read books and magazines. I kind of feel like I am stealing since I don't buy much but why would they have the chairs there if they didn't want me to sit and read. Even though the chairs give me the skeevies.

[Stephanie]

Totally thought the author of the comment before mine was p.o.r.n. job. That was a slight misread. Perhaps I need to up the font size on my computer?

[Operation Pink Herring]

Stephanie, I thought it was a little risque too! I mean, they were about to get it on (while not married! OMG!) with the little neice and nephew sleeping on the couch in the next room!

You thought Joey looked GOOD? I thought it would have been more believable if he needed the wedding cash to pay for his coke habit.

[Cialis]

QPKe6w Thank you for the material. Do you mind if I posted it in her blog, of course, with reference to your site?

[Life of a Doctor's Wife]

I have the same anxiety over weekends... or any social events, really. Too much pressure to have FUN!

But I usually do have fun, and the anxiety was all for naught. Sounds like you had a super weekend. Hopefully the upcoming one will be just as great!

[beth]

very jealous of your wine-soaked viewing party of the fake matrimony weekend. And proud of you that you went out and were social!

[Lindsey]

Umm...you were WHERE?????? And WHY DID YOU NOT CALL ME?! DEAD TO ME, as Sarah would say.