The best laid birthday plans

I am not a very good gift-giver. Well, I shouldn't exactly say that. I love buying things that I see if they remind me of someone. If I happen upon a book or a scarf or something that I know a certain person will love, I'm a great gift giver. But if I don't happen upon something perfect, well... I just draw a blank. The idea of Christmas shopping gives me an anxiety attack. How are you supposed to come up with a good idea for every person you know and love at the same time?  Throw in the fact that my brother's birthday is in January and my mom's is in February and that is a whole lot of winter gift ideas that never seem to come up with themselves. Much to my relief (and probably at my suggestion), my immediate family did away with getting each other Christmas gifts several years ago. And Joel and I usually just get each other birthday gifts and forgo Christmas gifts, since his birthday in December and mine is in January.  It's just too much. (For me.)

Even with just one gift to buy for Joel, I always end up stressing about what to get him for his birthday. I always want to get him something totally awesome but as his birthday draws nearer and I still have zero ideas, I start to think that I'd settle for getting him something pretty good. Maybe just something not terrible. I mean, something he only hates a little bit, that would be fine, right?

I started fretting about his gift early this year, as this is the big 3-0 for us. My thoughts on turning thirty are another whole topic (I was totally fine with it until about three weeks ago), but every time the topic would come up whoever I was talking to would remark on what a BIG BIRTHDAY it was. Better get him something REALLY SPECIAL, huh?  Wouldn't want the BIG SPECIAL BIRTHDAY to TOTALLY SUCK, would we?

So, there's that. And then there's the fact that Joel is probably the world's best gift-giver. He comes up with ideas all on his own with no hints or suggestions. He often buys me things that I never would have chosen for myself and they always end up becoming my favorite things. And most importantly of all, Joel is just a good guy and fantastic husband and I wanted to show him how much I appreciate him with a totally kick-ass birthday gift for once.

Eventually, thanks to RA, I hit upon the idea of tickets to a Ravens game. I was pretty pumped about this idea. I looked up the schedule and found there was a home game the day after his birthday. Perfect! My brother and my BFF coached me on where to get tickets and what seats were better than others and for the first time ever I had a present bought and shipped and sitting safely in my office with weeks to spare.

Then came the task of keeping it a secret. I have never, ever managed to keep a gift a surprise from Joel. He always guesses it, ALWAYS, even when I think there is no possible way he could ever figure out what I got him. I was really feeling quite smug about my idea and it was SO HARD not to gloat about what a great gift I'd gotten him. But I kept my mouth shut and I refused to answer any questions, give any hints, or even discuss the matter at all because I was afraid he'd figure it out.

On Saturday morning we woke up and while Joel was watching cartoons I wrapped up the tickets in a spare box. I made him open all the other cards that had come in the mail before opening his present. He was genuinely surprised (or he's so good at faking it that I can't tell the difference) and I patted myself on the back for being the best wife ever.

And then this afternoon, around 3pm, Joel started to feel sick. You'd better suck it up, I joked, because we have a goddamn football game to go to whether you feel like it or not! Maybe he was just hungry, he said, so I made us some toast. An hour later he seemed to feel better, and then he went upstairs to take a shower. When he hadn't come back down after what seemed like a long time, I went upstairs and found him in bed. Just taking a nap, he said. Wake me up at 6.

At 6:15 he said he felt OK, but not great. He didn't feel terrible, but it was the kind of uneasiness that could change in to full-on suckitude or just pass. The game kicked off at 8:20. I think you can probably see where this is going.

I made myself some dinner. Joel didn't want any. I looked on Craigslist and saw there were people selling tickets at the last minute and a few people were looking to buy tickets. I wondered if I should list ours and see if anyone was interested. But I didn't want to give them up in case he suddenly felt better.

At 7, we decided to go to the game. We bundled up appropriately and got on our bikes and rode over to the stadium. In hindsight, biking there was a terrible idea, but at the time it seemed l ike a better option than walking through the serious ghetto to the bus stop or riding our bikes to another less ghetto but far away bus stop. 

When we got there, Joel didn't think he could go in. We hemmed and hawed for few minutes over what to do and decided to go in after all, since we were already there.  But when we got to the stadium entrance there was a wall of people waiting outside to go through security.  Just looking at the line made me a little queasy and I realized that this was the stupidest idea ever. So we go in, and what? Joel feels like shit for three hours? While surrounded by drunk, screaming people? In the freezing cold?  No, we needed to go home. I sold the tickets to some dude and we turned around. Joel stopped to throw up before we even made it back to the bikes and had to stop several times on the way home.

So! We're back home. Joel is retching over the toilet upstairs. I guess we'll remember his 30th birthday for a long time, so at least there's that.

Strangely, I am not overly upset. I'm sad that he didn't get to enjoy his gift and I definitely wish that Joel wasn't upstairs barfing right now. But this sudden turn of events made me appreciate all we have more than it made me feel angry at the universe for ruining his present. Even though it may have been the best birthday idea I'll ever have, no big deal universe!  Assuming this is just a stomach bug (and I refuse to consider any other possibilities), we'll be back to normal by tomorrow or next week at the latest. I'll still have my husband and we'll still have our overall health. Of all the disasters that could come out of left field at any time, missing a football game isn't the worst thing that could have happened by a long shot.

But now MY stomach is starting to feel a little questionable, so I reserve the right to take that statement back.

 

Comments

[-R-]

Can you use the money you made from selling the tickets to go out for a nice dinner (when you are both done barfing)? Then you'll still get a little celebration.

I'm sure he appreciated the thought - there's really not much else you could have done!

[Life of a Doctor's Wife]

Awww! That is so sad! But what a great gift (says the girl who got her husband football tickets for his 30th)! I am sure he loved it and there will be other football games.

Hope you guys both feel better soon!

[RA]

Ugggh, that stinks. Poor Matt Damon. I saw the game on last night and thought of you guys.

[heidikins]

Oh man, that really sucks. I am terrible at keeping surprises and I would be so bummed to have one ruined by a lame stomach virus. Poor Mr. OPH, I hope he's feeling better!

xox

[beth]

A nice ending after all...screw the game. You guys love each other! and are married to each other! very sweet.

[janet]

I think you might just have to re-surprise him for 31. He won't expect Ravens tix next year, will he? (Um, unless he reads blog comments)

[janet]

hahahaha just read RA's comment. Am loling.