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Wednesday, August 17, 2011


OMG Jennifer ... when you were born I just kept saying "it's a baby, it's a baby?!" ... everyone thought I was nuts (what did you expect) ... but the awesomeness of a BABY, no matter how prepared and ready, is AMAZING! and just for the record, there were NO horror stories with your birth, it went perfectly along the lines predicted, over soon, and I felt wonderful immediately! Enjoy your last few weekends as a couple, once the baby is here they will be a distant memory, and you will wonder what you did before it's arrival.

Oh girl. I am scared too. I think I have been avoiding all the stuff that I need to do bc if I avoid it then it won't happen right? I don't want to think about ripping down there or having an epidural jammed in my spine or having to be induced. Or never sleeping again. Or bleeding nipples.

I keep asking my sister what we need. Like do I need to buy granny panties for the monster pads I will be wearing? Monster pads, I need to buy them? How many socks was one of my questions too. And I know this sounds awful and talk to me on September 21 but I don't think I want the baby here early. How about just a little later? More time!!!!

And god we need a major grocery store run before the baby comes, right. Then why can't I motivated myself to do any of it?

I was going to tell you it will all be okay but then Steph had to mention bleeding nipples and I nearly fainted.

Seriously though, you guys are gonna rock it as parents and you'll be so overcome with love for that little one that you won't even miss your sleep. Is that a lie? I have no freakin' clue. You do it first and let me know how it goes. :)

I started to write a long, drawn-out comment here but deleted it. This is what I've experienced about pregnancy and parenting a newborn:

If labor was really so terrible, every single woman out there would only have one child. It hurts, yes. There's no way around it. But it is the only time in your life where you will be in pain for a GOOD reason - go with it. I couldn't control everything that was going on, so I just let my body do its thing, let the doctors/nurses/midwifes do theirs and about .5 seconds after laying eyes on my babies, it didn't matter how they came out. (And, IMO, it's really not as horrific as some women say it is. At least it wasn't for me.)

Mommy instinct is real and it kicks in right away and you will know exactly what you need and how to take care of your baby.

Every amazing moment is about a frillion times better than the hard moments. It's all SO worth it.

It will be great! You will be awesome! The baby will be adorable and brilliant! Joel will be the best dad ever! Your house will always be clean! You will achieve that magical balance of work and life!

1. You are gorgeous, absolutely beautiful. *NOT a lie, is a fact, don't argue.

2. The think about the monks? Yeah, that's exactly what I needed to hear this morning.


Yeah, I didn't have the moment of realization until I was in labor in the hospital. And then I basically panicked. But it turned out ok! I even had another kid!

You will be probably be super busy and overwhelmed when you first have the baby, but you will get used to it, and you will slowly get time back to do more things for yourself. Your new normal is going to be so much better than your current normal. You can't even imagine how amazing it is going to be.

Labor is not going to be that bad. You will be ok. And you look really great.

My "moment" didn't hit me until I was pushing and the doctor said "wow, that baby has a lot of hair!" And even with the second baby, it was about the same. It's really hard to comprehend.

Maybe s/he will be late. I have found that the more uncomfortable you are, the less scared you are (sorry, that's awful!!!)

You'll realize it when you have to leave the hospital and the crazies there think it's natural that YOU take home the baby...but you don't know what to do!!! Why would they think it's ok for YOU to take home a defenseless, helpless little baby that you could drop or forget to feed?!!

You'll be awesome. You are awesome. Labor is awesome and clearly, you forget the worst parts because I just typed "labor is awesome." You'll get what I mean in a couple of years after your crotch heals.



I can't comment on all the pregnancy-related stuff (although it does seem very scary - but so many women do it, and then do it again!), but I did want to say that you are SUCH a cute pregnant lady. Seriously, you look wonderful.

We must be having a mind meld because I feel exactly the same way! Of course, I have more than 27 days (thank goodness) but not by many...only 47! Which is less than 50 which just seemed like a much more manageable number to me.

I keep telling myself that all the stories are worst case scenario and that my labor will not be like that. I'm hoping I can totally fool myself. So far it's not working.

You look great, you're going to be an amazing parent, and everything is going to be fine! (It better be, because I'm just copying you!)

First of all, you look fantastic, sweaty yoga clothes and all. That may not mean much coming from someone who spent the weekend in her husband's boxers and t-shirts because they're the most comfortable clothes that actually fit, but still. You look great.

Tim suggested last night that if I want to attempt this whole childbirth thing drug-free (key word: ATTEMPT; am not ashamed to get the epidural if needed) then we might want to practice some pain management techniques. I know he's right, but at the same time I keep thinking of reasons to put it off -- I'm too busy with work right now, he hasn't read the book I asked him to read with all the pain management techniques in it, the dogs clearly need to be petted...Basically, I'm afraid that once I start actually preparing, that means it will actually happen. With all the pain and the terrifying reality that is pushing a baby out. Surely I can just waltz into the hospital once contractions start and it'll all go okay and be easier than I think, regardless of whether I'm prepared, right? Right?

It won't be that bad. Once you get the epidural, smooth sailing. It will work. It just will.
I didn't get the "moment", the life changing, holy shit, this is really happening feeling until the first day it was just me and him, about 2 weeks after he was born. But by then, we'd had so much time together that it was fine.
It's actually very anti-climactic when you bring them home and realize that they don't need more than what you swiped from the hospital- boobs, diapers, plain t-shirt/onesie, swaddling blanket (for the love of peace, TAKE HOME THE SWADDLING BLANKETS! Nothing anywhere lives up to those things.) Also, baby socks- Haynes from Walmart. The only ones he couldn't kick off. It's a little painful to drop 6 dollars on 4 pairs, but it's worth it and they'll fit for a good 4 months.

It will be FINE! Haven't you seen the "Keeping up with the Kardashians" episode where Kourtney gives birth to mason? You must see...it will make you feel so much better (if you can stomach the shots with Scott Disick) She does her makeup while her water is breaking, and just sort of pulls out her own baby, no big deal. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YC9rYsun1WM

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